Do you have a mix of both male and female friends?

[daffy2015]

Where to begin? I have recently had a new surge of life and been trying to make friends and remain in friendships to get a bit of life again.

I have friends of both male and female but for some reason I feel extremely guilty of having make friends as I know my H would see it maybe something more. I have one male friend from a place I work (not a work colleague) who will send very platonic texts (he is gay) just hows things etc but suddenly I feel like I am doing something wrong as I believe I know he would disapprove.

Last year he instantly believed a rumour I was having an affair with someone who was also a friend before even asking me and he went mad with both me and my mum who was trying to help me explain.

Is it normal to feel this way, im actually thinking of ending some of my friendships with the females also as they want me to go out and socialise again something he is not keen on.

Do you have mixtures of male/female friends?

Look at it this way: if he's going to be a miserable shit you might as well go out so you don't have to see his grumpy face.

Go to your sister's!

Look at it this way: if he's going to be a miserable shit you might as well go out so you don't have to see his grumpy face

This

Oh I experienced this sort of stuff myself and worse still my dd had a relationship like this, only it wasn't sulks, it was shouting, I don't know which is worse. They wear you down and take the joy out of anything that you know they will kick up a stink about, no matter how unreasonably.

But we all needs friends. Friends are the spice of life and our safety net.

Go out with your sister!
You must persevere with having a life. Either your dh will come round or he won't but you must not live half a life because of his insecurity and controlling behaviour.

Omg op. Go out and enjoy.

The night with sis has been cancelled as her little one is not well. I have not heard at all from H either today so it will be a wait and see what like his mood is when he comes home.

This is the way he has been for 10+years, I don't think he can or will change but I have changed and I am in serious minds of calling this marriage a day.

Does that seem dramatic thinking?

No it seems like "lightbulb moment" thinking. Like you've spent so many years thinking this is ok, on eggshells and accepting. Then a little spark has appeared and possibly you've picked up on subtle hints from those around you. You've asked the question here and been given a resounding "No. This isn't ok"

So now you've had a peek through the blinds and seen the light

And you are right, he almost certainly won't change.

Well he kind of made a half hearted apology for his behaviour, his excuse for the mood was he thought I would have text him to let him know what was happening instead of just to say I was on my way home? He said I said I would? Also he feels we don't spend enough time together?

But ....... he is in a bit of a huff again as I gave 3 blokes from my work a lift to the pub today on my way home. Cant win really ...

Some people are professionally offended by anything that doesnt go their way.

Also he feels we don't spend enough time together?

what, like the last TEN years?

You're his little pet.

Three choices: you can spend your life repressed by him or you can choose to either force him to accept that you -are- going to go out and actually have a life. Or you can choose to leave.

If you choose to try to get him to accept that you ARE goign to go out and have a life, you will have to accept his sulks and his passive-aggressive behaviour and hope that one day he wises up and gets a grip. It's not something that happens very often though, sulking works for him (you spent the last ten years at his side didn't you?).

Choosing to leave is another set of problems, though you may find yourself feeling a lot freer and happier once you are fully clear of him.

Dear me, I hope you do decide to leave him and have a life! He sounds dreadful - doesn't want you to have friends, instantly believes you're having an affair based on a rumour, won't speak to you if you have the temerity to go out without him and have a good time - how very dare you!

I have friends of both sexes. I have even stayed at a single male friend's house (he is straight too!) and DH has never batted an eyelid because we trust each other. DH wouldn't ever query my friendships and he wouldn't ever stop me going out or have a sulk about it if I did. That is normal and healthy, IMO.

Hell my H would probably die if I mentioned staying over at a male friends!! My dad wasn't even like this!

It has really gotten me down this now. He is back to himself at the mo and hasn't even acknowledged that he had another manchild huff yesterday but I cant forget this time.

Think I might plan another night out see how it goes! Am I being a bitch deliberately going out my way to annoy him?

You are nit doing it to annoy him.
He is choosing to be annoyed. Big difference.

Yes to another night out. You live your life.

minkGrundy says it all

yes, what mink said. You're doing it for yourself, he needs to learn to adjust and get over it - you're actually doing him a favour really because it's a learning curve for him

Everyone needs to have friends

You should celebrate the fact that you have friends and enjoy yourself

Do not stop having friends