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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Breaking Bad habits

6 replies

Strawberry99 · 14/06/2015 19:57

I'm at the end of my tether my partner is constantly scratching & picking his scalp until it bleeds. I find his habit really unhygienic but when I have mentioned it he clams up & I feel awful for raising the issue but I really don't think I can put up with it any more. Please does anyone have any suggestions for how I can talk to him about it.

OP posts:
TopOfTheCliff · 14/06/2015 20:06

Does he do it because he is anxious? Some bad habits like hair pulling and nailbiting are like this. People do them to get relief from anxiety and are unable to stop without finding a better solution to their problems.
What does "clam up" mean in practice? Does he refuse to discuss it? or go quiet/walk out on you? Does he do this over other uncomfortable subjects to stop you discussing them too?
Is he otherwise okay? fun to be with? or are you going off him generally?

BitOfFun · 14/06/2015 20:10

I thought you were going to say he cooked crystal meth Grin.

Nothing helpful to add, sorry- I think it would probably be incredibly hard for him to stop, but you could keep asking him not to do it in front of you, I suppose.

Strawberry99 · 14/06/2015 20:27

I've wondered about the anxiety side to it but he does have a skin condition but by his constant scratching/picking it's making matters a 100 times worse. I suppose claming up is the wrong way of putting it I have suggested he needs to get help & he always promises to see someone but then he never does anything about it. I've suggested creams etc but he just nods & says he's already tried it. I do love him dearly he's lovely to be with especially when he's not scratching but when he is picking its a serious turn off. Not sure how to express that without seriously upsetting him.

OP posts:
Strawberry99 · 14/06/2015 20:34

Lol -BitOfFun now meth would b a very bad habit to break. I have asked him to stop but he just doesn't see the problem I'm surprised his family haven't said anything I'm just the bad one for mentioning it Hmm

OP posts:
goddessofsmallthings · 15/06/2015 02:23

What skin condition does he have? Buy him one of Neutrogena's T/gel and T/Sal therapuetic shampoos from Boots/Superdrug etc which are effective for psoriasis, seborrhoeic dermatitis, and dandruff and will relieve an itchy scalp - providing he uses it.

However, if he suffers from psoriasis I recommend Polytar liqiuid shampoo which is more expensive but can be bought on eBay.

It could be that the constant scratching/picking has become a habit, but it will be easier to break if there's nothing to the picked, iyswim.

Skiptonlass · 15/06/2015 10:04

There is a condition called trichotillomania. And one called excoriation disorder. Can you have a google of those and see if they ring any bells for you? Both are treatable with good support.

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