Why do so many internet sites recommend working to save your marriage after an affair rather than leaving?

[doublechocchip]

I'm 4 weeks post finding out about dh's affair, I'm googling the crap out of everything I can think of to do with affairs e.g. The why's, the questions to ask, etc etc but the overwhelming advice on most sites seem to be that with lots of hard work you can both move on.

At the moment I just don't feel like that at all I'm so angry. Why aren't there more things geared towards leaving or is it not the done thing?

this is why I love MN

because the default response is not that you should perform the Pick Me Dance, give more blow jobs, put a broom up your arse so you can sweep up as you walk and make your house even cleaner for the Big I Am to come home to and generally that women should not blame themselves for the shit behaviour of men

bring it on

if more marriages break up because of places like this, then so be it

I'm glad the internet wasn't around when my ex had an affair, I made up my own mind to get a divorce and have never looked back..

For me I could go it alone but I look at the kids (8,6 and almost 1) and the thought of trying to explain a separation to them breaks my heart.