Initiate sex only after alcohol

[TheGreatBear]

My partner is generally uninterested in sex and on the infrequent times they initiate its after drinking. Another irritation is their unwillingness to perform oral while receiving it - this wasn't always been the case but it now stretches back years. Do these things reveal anything much about their feelings?

Obviously mismatched libidos are a regular complaint on mumsnet, and while this is a factor I don't know if there is more going on.

LTB?

He sounds a selfish bastard. What do you mean when you say you don't know if there is more going on?

He? There was no mention of gender!

I don't agree the only explaination is selfishness.

I've needed alcohol in the past to get me over a concern about sex. Many women who have not have sex after having a baby are concerned a a few glasses of wine help things along too.

As for the giving and not receiving, they are 2 separate issues too. Take anal for example, a woman may enjoy pegging but that has no bearing on whether she'd enjoy anal.

Have you spoken to your partner to find out what's their attitudes are regarding sex?

As your first 2 responses on this thread have show, there are different explainations for the same outcomes so the only way you are going to find out is by communication, which any good relationship needs anyway.

Good luck

Post-birth fears notwithstanding, any disinterest in sex on my part has normally been indicative of general unhappiness with the relationship. However, there are a multitude of reasons your partner might not be interested in sex, you need to talk about it, understand the reason and try to resolve it together (if you can).

Confidence issues?
No one should have to perform oral sex if they don't want to. Have they explained why?

they don't like it apparently - not the case previously tho

I guess the alcohol thing makes me think of my younger single days when you would lower your standards if out drinking. discussing things isn't easy and would possibly be seen as putting pressure on to have sex

Performing oral while receiving is not the best for a lot of women.

Because the blow job is crap and you can't concentrate on the sensations from cunnilingus.

not at the same time! !