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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What happens if STBXH is his usual unhelpful self??

2 replies

Balders74 · 12/06/2015 13:09

I finally started the divorce proceedings last week after dithering about it for a couple of months. STBXH got the letter a few days later. I know this because when he came to pick the kids up on Saturday he didn't come into the house and hardly spoke to me and when he dropped them off on Sunday he didn't even get out of his car. He is ingoring my texts etc. Hey ho!

I was advised by my solicitor to contact a mediation service, which I have done. They said they would speak to him and get back to me. I have heard nothing back, which makes me think that he is avoiding their calls.

The basis of the divorce is unreasonable behaviour and the letter from the solicitor said that I would pay for it if he signed the documents without arguing.

So my question is; what happens if he just ignores it all? If he doesn't contact the mediation service and doesn't sign any divorce documents? Can it go ahead without him she says hopefully.

He has form for this kind of thing. He has ignored many important things in the past even with me pestering him. For example, he didn't pay any maintenance for his first child and ignored all the letters until eventually they put a hold for the arrears against our house!! And when he missed submitting his self-assessment to the HMRC and ignore the letters until the fine reached over £1000!!

His DM is very ill at the moment so he will be distracted but I know he will be deligerant just because he can and because it is something I want.

Any advice from you lovely experienced ladies would be welcome.

OP posts:
thelonggame · 12/06/2015 14:01

you don't need him to co-operate, although of course it is easier if he does

Take a look at wikivorce - www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Guides-Divorce/How-To-Guides/Step-4-What-to-do-if-your-spouse-doesnt-respond-to-the-court.html

Balders74 · 12/06/2015 14:24

Thank you thelonggame. That link is very helpful.

OP posts:
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