Sex(sorry!!!!)

[Tyedye]

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change the locks when he`s out and get someone there to stay with you when he turns up to find himself locked out!!!

Tyedye - you have to get out of this relationship. Have you sought legal advice regarding means of getting him out if possible?
No advice really, but it sounds unbearable and it is so unhealthy for all your children to witness, if they do witness your arguments.

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There is no way you are going to feel like having sex with him when he is being so horrible. I went right off having sex in the later stages of our relationship & there was no way he could have talked me into it.
Glad you are still receiving support from your HV. What doesshe suggest you do?
I would reccomend you seeking some kind of legal advice now.

Can you get to see a solicitor tomorrow? Is your H's name on the mortgage?
You need to find out where you stand.

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Go & see a solicitor & see what they advise.
You will more than likely be in a much stronger position than you think.

leave, sod the house re home the pets you can get them back when you are settled contact womans refuge, you'll be 100% better outta there, mental abuse is abuse if you fear for your safty womans refuge will help, please leave..tomorrow?

saftey

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Hmm. Still not sure how it stands if you leave the house, but there may be no other option if your H refuses to leave.
With regards to your friend offering for you to stay, maybe you could give it a go once you have seen a solicitor. After all, it may not be too much of a disruption and she might welcome company and distraction??

I think both partners have a "right" to sex in marriage. If one doesn't want it because they've a problem they should get their problem sorted out. If you can't get on and the problem can't be solved then you may need to separate, sadly. But I don't think wanting sex in marriage is such as unreasonable thing as most mumsnet posters seem to think.

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Xenia
Ifyou'd read the thread it would have been clear that TD's feelings towards sex with her H are not just because she doesn't "fancy it".
Wanting sex,and badgering when the other doesn't, is not a "right" when there are other relationship issues that need to be resolved first, if at all possible.

I have followed a lot of Tyedye's threads & know that there is far more going on than a lack of sex. Her partner is an abusive bully & I can understand exactually why TD wouldn't want sex with him.
Tyedye, please make that solicitor appointment. Information is power, as my counsellor once told me!

Tyedye, just to repeat my offer of help and guidance. I'm a family lawyer and you can email me on the address above.

You have got to get this sorted out now for the sake of your kids.

Systems are in place to help you, but you've got to bite the bullet and see a solicitor. Phone a solicitors office NOW and get an emergency appointment with a family specialist.

Your husband is a nutter and you don't have to live like this.

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Tyedye am going ot read the rest of this now and am sorry have been rubbish lately but am glad to know you are still around! Big Hug this is the right thing to do imo.

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Tyedye, what you are doing is letting yourself be treated like this. This is learned behaviour, you need to break this cycle now, if not for your own sake, for the sake of your children. They deserve better than what they have at the minute... do they not? Please, accept any offers you have got to leave this nasty nasty scumbag. How dare he presure you into having sex with him..and Xenia, what can I say? Yet another thoughtless comment from a bimbo eh?

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