Posting tentatively in here as I know that replies can get quite... Heated... Also this will be long so apologies in advance.
Anyway basically I've been with my partner nearly two years. We don't live together at the moment so he only comes here a few nights a week, the rest he spends at his parents. When he is over at theirs, he's free to do whatever. I don't pester him or demand to know what his plans are. If he wants to go and play football, see his friends etc I'm not bothered. However when he is meant to be here, I expect him to be. We don't see each other every day so on the occasions we are due to see each other, unless it's an important prior-made plan, I feel like he should be here.
He has always been crap at letting me know about plans he's made. He used to be in a band that toured a lot and he would tell me a few days before, often even the night before, that he was going away for the weekend, week etc one time I found out via Twitter he was planning on going to America to tour for two weeks literally about a week before he was due to fly out. I think he doesn't tell me because he is worried I will be pissed off when that's not the case and I have told him so a million times, the only thing that pisses me off is when he has either big plans e.g. Going away somewhere or if he has made plans when he is supposed to be here and doesn't bother to tell me. I feel like it's just common courtesy to tell your partner things like that, if anything so they can make alternative plans too.
So it was my birthday on the Sunday just gone. My partner works on Sunday's so I was due to be spending the Saturday day with him, just the two of us as we have barely seen each other lately due to work and other commitments. He usually comes down here after work on a Friday so was looking forward to spending Friday evening with him. He texts me as he's finishing work to say he is going to meet up with his brother and some friends but will be round "about 10, probably earlier." So although I was a bit annoyed as he was meant to be here and he told me last minute, I shrugged it off and invited my friends over instead. At half 11 I got a text to inform me that he had arranged to play a musical festival with some friends the following day. Again, I was pissed off because it was supposed to be our day together but he said "if you come, we'll have the entire day to ourselves to do something and I only have to go on stage for an hour at around 4pm." So I agreed to go on the promise that at least we'd spend most of the day together. We got there on Saturday morning and I was then left alone so he could go on stage to sound check and mere minutes later, went to perform. Getting increasingly agitated, I left the festival and went out on my own.
On Sunday a few of his friends were due to come up from Wales to see him and his brother (they're twins and their birthday is the day after mine) I was a bit sad he was planning on leaving early on my birthday but figured, it's his birthday too. He said that he would make it up to me by coming to see me the next day so I was okay with that. I still hadn't had a present or card and he said he would bring it with him on the Monday. He called in sick to work on Sunday and stayed here for a few hours and then he left. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. Normally this wouldn't bother me too much but 1) it was still my birthday despite him leaving early and 2) whenever he is with me he is CONSTANTLY texting his mates, yet when he's with his mates apparently his phone never left his pocket to send me a quick text or even to let me know when he got home or to say goodnight.
Monday came and I was looking forward to seeing him as it was now his birthday and was looking forward to exchanging presents etc. At 5pm he told me that he was calling in at his parents as they were doing a party for him and some family were coming round but he would be over after that. It came to 10pm and he text me to say it was too late for him to come round. I really flipped, like, hard. He could quite easily have said to his family he had plans elsewhere so he might have to leave the party a little early, I doubt anyone would have minded (although it emerged afterwards that his friends from Wales were still there) I told him I was fed up of being let down constantly, always being second best to his friends. He grovelled of course and said he was sorry but that's all I ever hear, sorry. He's never actually sorry. I said if he wants to mess about with his mates forever that's fine but it was over, I need more than a part time boyfriend that only uses me when it's convenient for him.
He has been busy lately but always has time to see his friends. He jibbed me off for his friends for my entire birthday weekend and I tried to be reasonable about it but after making a promise to come here since he left me alone on my birthday and breaking that promise, I just lost it. Am I being unreasonable? I don't know how people are brought up but I was brought up to have basic respect and common decency and not consistently letting people down and lying and sneaking around falls under that category. I have threatened to leave before because of stupid shit he's done but me being an idiot have given him a million chances (yes I know I'm stupid for doing so and I only have myself to blame for this situation) but this time when I said it, he seemed genuinely worried, kept saying all the right things "I love you, I'm sorry, please let me make it up to you and prove to you we should be together" etc etc. Usually the most I get out of him is "okay." I don't know if I'm just being a totally neurotic bitch though, I recently had the implant fitted and it's turned me into a bit of a monster but I feel like this anger is justified?