The Freedom Programme

[TheWhiteFlag]

Anyone done it? I start on Wednesday!

I'm thinking about doing it! Think I need it after 2 relationships with abusive men...! Are you doing it online? What's your experience re relationships?

I often refer women to this. It's great!

Is there anything about it that is concerning you?

Does it take up much time & do you have to complete it within a certain timeframe?

I've don't have any experience of the online version. I think that one of the good things about the course is that you get to speak to other women in the same situation. In my area is 1/2 day or whole day per week.

I sit right next to a woman that delivers it. If you have any specific questions I can ask her tomorrow.

I did the online version, I know in person is much better. But I still found it utterly invaluable.

RL probably not possible for me as got 2 kids, on my own & working. Seriously thinking about online tho, I need to! Don't want to be taken in again ??

Ok, givemehope. I have a chat with her tomorrow morning and ask what timescales are involved.

Thank you Lavenderice! :)

Bloody good for you! that's a big step you have taken and one that will help you a great deal.

i did it 3 or 4 years ago.

It is NOT the golden bullet you will hope it to be, but this is because there is no magic want to make you feel better, or to protect you from bad men in the future. What it does show you is what is not healthy and why.

I know that sounds obvious to some, but the fact of the matter is that we are conditioned by our abusive partners (and parents/childhood prior to this too) so we expect to be treated poorly. being treated with respect, love, kindness and consideration is alien to us and we don't feel comfortable with it. We don't know/think we deserve any better.

Some of the weeks will be REALLY hard, but the harder they are for you, the more important they are for you, if that makes sense. Doing the FP in person is FAR better than doing it online, but either course is better than doing nothing.

If you have any queries, or want to talk about your experiences (being mindful of the privacy of others in your group, then this thread is a great place for you.

I used to consider the FP/Therapy/DV support groups I did following the end of my abusive relationship as a kind of insurance exercise to help me prevent falling back into another damaging relationship.

As I say, it's not a magic wand, it won't make all the 'bad people' go away, but your confidence in being able to spot them better. The added confidence (IME anyway) DOES seem to repel some abusive types somehow. Not failsafe, as we will still be attracted/triggered by what we know, so move slow, step by step and think things through and weigh things up.

I would suggest looking at cognitive behavioural therapy too at some point as it teaches you to analyse your feelings and detach from them so you can get control back.

Wow Hissy, that sounds great, thanks for sharing. I am so mindful of the example I am setting 11 yr old DD, that's why I've just ended it with my P. But again, I was taken in by the hearts & flowers at the start, then 18 months in the mask slipped... Need to avoid that again :(

Ok the on-line course takes between 6-12 hours in total and you can take as long as you want to complete it and do it as many times as you want.

You can also go back and do the FP groups as often as you like, repeating the course will help if you need the additional support.

I have tried googling to find out of one near to me but the email address came back as an error. Any ideas how to find out?

keepingmum if you PM me with your area I will find out for you. I promise complete confidentiality but understand if you don't want to.

Thanks for letting me now about the online course Lavenderice. Think I will be signing up :).

Thank you. I have sent a PM. I would prefer to attend in person of at all possible.

I think its better to do it irl - go to the sessions - as rl drives the reality home. You also me other women - lovely, normal, sane women! - in a similar position and that is priceless. The whole course is priceless, I couldn't recommend it highly enough.

The course I did - and most are structured like this I think - was a once a week session, ed by facilitators, on a rolling programme of 12 sessions. Each week you look at a different aspect of abuse, the tactics abusers use, our cultural training, abusers cultural training. The session ends with looking at the same aspect but from within a healthy relationship.

It opens your eyes! Although some times it can be challenging to have our eyes opened, to face the truth, it is a clean pain and there is so much support and validation from within the group it is manageable. It is a relaxed and casual setting - intentionally so - eg hot drinks, biscuits, chat; and you are free to come and go if you choose eg step outside (or go home) if you feel you can't face what is being discussed. If you miss a session you can pick it up the next time it comes around; and you can go around the rolling 12 sessions as many times as you like.