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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What do I do?

4 replies

dm86 · 11/06/2015 11:25

I'm just really fed up Hmm I don't know whether relationships should be like this or if I'm expecting a fairy tale and expecting to much. I just know I'm not particularly happy.

But I'm scared of the unknown, if this is the way life is meant to be and just suck it up or if it's just me and maybe I'll never be happy with life. I know I'm not explaining myself very well!

I've been with my husband since I was 16 so I don't know any different. I'm scared if we did split up I wouldn't manage even though I'm fairly independent. I worry I'll struggle financially with 3dc. I worry I'm maybe depressed again. I worry I'll be on my own forever. I just worry I suppose. I've just given up with life Sad

OP posts:
Knittingnoodles · 11/06/2015 11:42

Hi DM

I expect that to have come here and written a post then you must be fed up of being fed up?

Can you put your finger on what makes you fed up or is it just, well, everything?

Some things in life you just have to suck up. Some you don't. It's often difficult to put our problems in perspective isn't it?

Are you lonely? It's possible to be lonely in a relationship and with a family.

If you feel you do too much for everyone else then it's ok to take some time out and have something for yourself.

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 11/06/2015 12:08

What specifically are you unhappy about? Give us some examples from your life that we can cogitate over.

Joysmum · 11/06/2015 12:17

I'm scared if we did split up I wouldn't manage even though I'm fairly independent

Do you honestly think you're more poorly equipped to deal with seperation that the millions of other women who go through seperation/divorce? Wink

Stay only because you want to be there, not because you're scared to make the leap.

So, can your relationship be improved so its a happy one? If not then life's too short. If you think it might, both of you need to work out what needs improving and how best to do it.

Even then it requires for both to want to put the effort in, I remember overhearing my dad saying to my mum that he'd try enough for both of them. Of course that didn't work and they are happily divorced (and good friends) now.

wingsflyby · 11/06/2015 13:12

Can you identify why you feel this way? I guess that is the first step in making it easier to work out what you are thinking and feeling.

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