Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Looks like my thread vanished

24 replies

midlifehope · 11/06/2015 10:11

Feeling fucking shit today. Massive argument in front of ds - I then had to take him to nursery having witnessed that and I've had to call in sick to work as I can't stop crying. I did not want this for my son or me. Sick of being the man and woman in this relationship Confused fucking exhausted

OP posts:
Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 10:15

Please someone talk to me. I feel desperate

OP posts:
Stinkersmum · 11/06/2015 10:16

What happened?

MarchLikeAnAnt · 11/06/2015 10:17

What's up?

Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 10:18

Basically dp being selfish arsehole not pulling any weight - can't cope

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 11/06/2015 10:24

make yourself a cuppa and tell us what he's done or not done.
I'm sorry you are so upset, you sound exhausted.
Don't know if i can help but I can listen. Thanks

MarchLikeAnAnt · 11/06/2015 10:24

It sounds miserable. How long has it been going on for? Have you spoken about it go him?

ravenmum · 11/06/2015 10:26

Did you get enough sleep? Agree about the cup of tea - have a sit down, could you manage a nap??

Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 10:29

Drinking and weeping into my coffee
Don't have the strength to articulate my thoughts but if you do a search on my name I think previous threads with the issue will show up

OP posts:
ravenmum · 11/06/2015 10:38

How many weeks gone are you? Visit the GP, explain that you're on the verge of collapse and get a prescription to put your feet up for a few weeks? Maybe husband would take it more seriously from an official source?

It can be completely knackering to be pregnant or with a newborn plus a toddler, takes more out of you than you realise sometimes - I'd sometimes only notice it when I found myself snapping.

ravenmum · 11/06/2015 10:39

Do you have a relative who could help?

Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 10:48

Raven it was only after I snapped I realised I'm exhausted. Dps had lost all sense of reality all he thinks about is his hobbies and boat , said he wished he'd never got me pregnant (after me saying he was my biggest mistake ever Confused) big mess all in front of ds. Hate ringing in sick to work. They probably think I'm a slacker

OP posts:
Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 10:53

Worry I am repeating the child hood I had with warring parents. Very damaging

OP posts:
GinSoakedBitchyPony · 11/06/2015 11:04

Threads here don't just 'vanish'.
If you can't find it using I'm On or Advanced Search, it has been removed for a reason. Contact HQ to find out why or this one may be pulled too.
Or tell us when you posted it and what it was about and one of us will find it and link it, assuming it's still there.

Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 11:08

Yep Neil x

OP posts:
ravenmum · 11/06/2015 11:10

Sounds like some big long-term changes are required, but you also need to focus on the short term first - how to take some of the pressure off yourself and reduce your exhaustion. Will the people at work really think that an exhausted pregnant woman is a slacker, or is that just what you imagine? The GP is not going to think that way, anyway.

Thinking about what your dp is and should be doing is making things all the more frustrating. Is there any way you can get out of his presence so you're not reminded of that? Can he just stay on his yacht? If he's not doing stuff anyway, he might as well... and the situation at home would be less tense.

Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 11:13

Raven I thought about asking him to go and live on his yacht. At least that way I could get in a au pair who would be reliable and useful!

OP posts:
ravenmum · 11/06/2015 11:14

Can't you get one with him at home?

Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 11:16

I could I guess - current house is really small but we are hopefully moving to a bigger one this summer

OP posts:
Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 11:16

Just so let down he is so reluctant to lift a finger!

OP posts:
ravenmum · 11/06/2015 11:21

I know what you mean ... would he even be happier living on the yacht?? Might be a useful temporary solution before you decide what to do in the long term. If you have the money, why not get an au pair? But if the two of you still can't live together without arguing, maybe you just need to be apart?

Dead · 11/06/2015 11:29

Get some practical help asap -- loads of aupairs available at this time of the year for short term if thats what you need to get you out of a hole. I did 3 under 3 - was hideous - ended up with PND which blighted my life for 2 full years. Take practical steps right now to prevent a burn out. Put the au pair on the yacht - off load all the chores - get rested and your head straight so that you can tackle the DH/marriage/emotional issues. Good call not to go to work today....dont go tomorrow either - make this a turning point...Good luck..

Original poster
midlifehope · 11/06/2015 11:32

Thanks dead - really good advice. How do I go about getting an au pair? Should I post on the childcare topic about that

OP posts:
Dead · 11/06/2015 12:07

Yes post on childcare for more recent advice re au-pairs -- and/or search Gumtree or www.aupair-world.co.uk/. Take care of yourself.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread