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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I stay or should I go now?

0 replies

haveyouseenmybadger · 07/06/2015 10:57

I find myself at a crossroads... I am married with 2 DS's, both under 5! but I just don't feel the same about my partner as I once did.

I think we are not very compatible with each other. I think we rushed into marriage and have been trying to keep it going for our kids ever since (we got pregnant very quickly after marriage!) I think because we both want to be there for our children.
I'm not sure I can stay though, the criticism, lack of intimacy, the fact that, as it turns out, we have less and less in common than I once thought we did!

Now comes the main problem... I am the main earner, and always have been. I have a relatively good job with pretty good prospects. My partner is a SAHP and has limited career prospects (they always struggled with educational settings and work environments due to anxiety issues etc, limiting their career options)

If I left, my children would probably stay with my partner most of the week. (I would of course make sure child support etc was paid!)... But, I feel if I leave that my DS's might suffer. We rent, and my partner would be unable to afford to stay there easily. In fact in the short term I think they probably would be able to through benefits etc (please no benefit bashing)!... but its more for 2-3 years from now when she would be required to find a job to support herself and kids.. I'm just not sure what she could do that would pay well enough to support her and the kids.

So what do I do, stay for the sake of my children, and keep banging my head against the wall in our marriage... Or leave, and give both of us a chance of finding someone who makes us happier, but gamble that my children might suffer...

Advice Please!!!

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