On the face of it, it seems callous to split up with my dh because he may have lost his job, doesn't it?
He is in a job that gets randomly tested for drugs / alcohol - and he failed. He faces a disciplinary next week: he may lose the job.
I am feeling numb. He was in tears yesterday because he realised he's running the risk of our marriage ending as well, by my reaction - or lack of one. I can't think of anything to say. Every time we have something good going for us, a chance to get ahead, he screws it up. It's like he's sabotaging us. We have been through so much, over and over. I had high hopes of this job - something he could progress in, it had good benefits and a pension, some security and hope at last. I work with a decent employer as well, so for once I thought we might get somewhere, out of debt maybe, maybe be able to get a decent car instead of our heap, maybe even have a holiday. Fuck I sound all about money, but life is so hard when you're struggling, it was like a light at the end of a tunnel.
And now I am running on empty. I don't know what I feel. Currently nothing much . I don't know how to keep going in this relationship.
I feel like life would be easier without him, I wouldn't have much money but we don't anyway - and at least it wouldn't be spent down the pub, I'd be in control of it.
I'll stop there. I don't really know what I am asking, tbh.