Do I tell her to LTB?

[eyelashcurler]

...I think I know the answer to this, but looking for some advice on how to do it. A friend (who I've not seen for a couple of years) is, I strongly suspect, in an abusive relationship & is struggling to break free.
I know how controlling abusive partners can be & im really worried about her. I want to tell her to LTB, but I don't want to alienate her. I think she really needs a friend right now & want her to feel like she can speak to me if she needs to. The fact she's contacted me when I've not seen her for so long gives me the impression she might be isolated...
Maybe my mind is boggling because I know a woman who was killed by an abusive partner...
Should I be direct with my friend??
Thanks

There is some good info here

www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-articles.asp?section=00010001002200410001&itemid=1296#1

Thank you. Have been thinking in the minutes since I posted this that I do need to be straight with her, but let her know I'm here for her. Like that article said, if she's admitting the abuse (well, "intimating" might be a better word), that is a good sign.
That article was helpful, thank you.

Why not meet up for a coffee and have a chat?

I wouldn't jump to conclusions until you know more about her situation.

I think it is really difficult because you want to keep the lines of communication open don't you but you want to say the truth without alienating her.

You are a good friend.

I think a good tactic is to focus on the behaviour she describes rather than calling him abusive directly to start with. When she mentions things you identify how and why that behaviour is abusive behaviour, you don't say he is abusive. You listen and support her to come to that conclusion herself.

MN is very different as many people say LTB and it's seen as normal.

In reality, I adopt a more questioning approach. I ask questions that I hope will lead the person I'm talking to to see the light and then offer up info to start them on the path to seeking change.

And you try to build up her self esteem and make sure she knows you are not judging her or expecting anything from her - remind her that she is in control and help her to take control. Don't tell her to leave, help her develop the skills and confidence to get to the point she wants to leave and then support her to do so. Lots of people wade in well meaningly with "he's abusive, you should leave" and forget that even if the person agrees that doesn't mean they are able to leave they just feel judged and weak.

Thanks everyone. I am pretty certain she is in an abusive relationship, but yes - pointing this out to her may be alarming. I will let her know I'm here for her & she is worth more than this.
I am going to contact her - think I would rather do this & lose her as a friend than do nothing. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her. I just hope she gets away from him.