Depressed hubby.

[Whatnext2015]

Hubby took anabolic steroids and left. He's come home and has been for 4 weeks now. He's been off gear for 8-9 weeks.
However is depressed since coming off.
If you've seen me post I've been trying to get the spark back between us.
I've dressed up a few times which we both enjoyed.
But whilst he's depressed about money and leaving me as well as taking something I don't agree with because it changed him in to a nasty narccistic arse, he's questioned his love for me, but he also has times with the kids where he's not into them or into his new job? The job he's been talking about finally getting for 5 years.

Dr prescribed him Sertraline 50mg he's on day two of taking them.

Has anyone got advise on how to bring the love spark back? Or am I doing ok atm.
We've got hooked on prison break boxset on sky, I bought a wowcher to your around his fav footy team stadium.
I'm trying to work on out friendship and old banter and hope it clicks in his head.
How do I deal with him on down days? Do I asking he's ok and then just leave it or act like everything is fine ?
And has anyone been On these anti d's before and can share when they started to feel better?
Do you question feelings for someone/something whilst depressed?

Sorry so many questions. Really wanting our marriage to work.

Ps on marriage counselling waiting list.

so he tells you that you nag too much? Horrid sexist word designed to belittle and bully a woman.

I would tell him to leave and once his head is no longer a mess you will think about whether you want to consider a relationship with him. Right now you are being told to shut up and put up and dance to his tune. Isn't that a bit humiliating. Or do you consider him such a prize that you will tolerate his behaviour at any cost to yourself and your children?

He doesn't sound like your best friend at all quite frankly - the polar opposite really.

I used to nag n bitch lol I could hear myself saying to myself shut up your pushing him away. But I carried on?
He would take it and take it and say duck please stop this. I'd ignore him. My fault for that and that I think made him distant plus I'd never want sex he did say to me at one point do you not find me attractive anymore? I'd say yes I'm just so tired. I was stressed.
Now I'm trying not to be that miserable woman again x

I think I forgot me after having kids. It's easy to do. I'm starting to socialise a lil more, think of my buisness and taking the course to better myself and have my own life. I want my dc to be proud of their strong mum. I want security for myself too.
My hubby has always looked after us and worked very hard and worked on the house. We went back to bare brick it was horrendous x

This is a general comment from reading the whole thread.
Some Mnetters being very knee-jerk here....looks like OP & her DH are making lots of effort - give it a bit of time to settle....
They have had money troubles which are stressful, ditto small kids....Yes he took steroids but without predicting the side effects but now he gets it... OP self-aware enough to recognise flaws in her behaviour - I can't bring myself to use that word - let's say pressuring him....
But whoever said he is responsible for his depression - ffs! - it's an illness...
Why do we have families if the advice is to leave when times are tough? I wonder if some of these (presumably perfect) people would take their own advice? We depend on relationships - they are what makes life meaningful & fulfilling - the idea no-one else is responsible for ones happiness (& vice versa) is so much bandied about on MN but is simply not true....But it's not to say we don't have to work at relationships & weather the storms....

I do love him and hope we can come out the other side? I did marry him for better or for worse.
And I really don't want all the stress and family problems to get in the way. I want our relationship to be stronger and for us to have a bond. Not just as parents but to get back what we had before dc came along. It's so easy to forget who we are.

Good post ocelot. I agree

Il take anything I'm a strong woman and I do stick up for myself x