Will try to be brief. Way back at the tail end of the sixties my mum married, had me and in quick succession had an affair and divorced my dad, getting together with my step dad. I was a toddler, and she didn't tell me about my real dad until I was ten.
During adolescence, my real dad made contact via family and she went mental, I was a child and it was all hushed up again she even made me promise not to tell my half sister.
Anyway, years of emotional blackmail,never having a hug never being told I was loved, being told that having me ruined her life, being "ill" every time I did anything she didn't like, crazy diary reading behaviour, refusing to buy me bras, constant control of food, all sorts of weirdness, I left home and maintained slight contact.
Then I had kids, gave her a chance hoping she would be better with them, she isn't really. We knocked along. My step dad is great, he works all hours to avoid her.
I found my real dad, we have great contact, and have been in happy touch for years. He filled in gaps and had been.following my life through relatives. He emigrated after several years of my mum blocking contact with me. We meet up and his family have welcomed me. My kids refer to.him as grandad three.
Anyway, my dd mention ed to my mum on her last visit about grandad three. My mum went ballistic.proper disinheriting rant, then went straight into emotional blackmail followed by weeping that I didn't visit her in hospital when she had a heart attack. She's right I didn't. She has since wept on my sister about it ( who was a star and pointed out that I hadn't done anything wrong) and is giving me the silent treatment whilst making sure I know how ill I have made her.
My view at this point is simply to cut it out my life: I don't need it! Is there any reason at all for me to feel guilty? She is a master at it.
Sorry for length of post.