Hi All. It's ages since I've posted on here but you were all here to support me during a time in my life when I needed it most. I have just been rereading my original posts from last year and I barely recognise the woman I was in those! Short history.... DH left last year after 24 years of marriage for OW. As is often the case I was the last to know and was completely devastated by his betrayal. My posts then are heartbreaking to read, but I just wanted to post an update and maybe give a little bit of hope to anyone out there going through the same. I grieved openly and loudly until Christmas and then a good friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer and my youngest dd (15 at the time ) took an overdose! This snapped me out of myself and I resolved to stop crying and take charge of my life.
Small steps saw me going out to meet friends and managing a whole evening without crying over 'him'. I started to reconnect with friends via social media that I hadn't seen for years and the short version is I reconnected with an old male school friend. We discovered we were living just 20 miles apart, despite the fact that we no longer lived in the County we were at school in! We met a few times for a drink and to my great surprise 6 months on I find myself in a relationship with him! It's very early days and I have no illusions about the future, I am just enjoying the present! Yes I have found it hard to trust him and I don't think I will ever completely trust anyone ever again, but every day I feel less anxious about that.I worry that I am in a new relationship far too quickly, I certainly didn't set out to find a new partner, that was the last ting I wanted! I am very aware it could all go wrong tomorrow, but if nothing else it has made me realise it is possible to love again.
I rarely think of my STBXH these days and we only speak/text if it's about the children or the house! I almost feel that my XH and his OW did me a favour, I would never have met my new man again as my XH was dead against me meeting up/contacting people from the past, ironically he was always such a jealous man! There is still much to sort out, house,finances, divorce etc. but I am now in complete control of what I want and where I am going....
So even though I didn't believe it at the time when you were all telling me that I would recover, the truth is I have and if anyone out there is feeling as desperate as I was back then, please hold onto this thought, eventually life really does go on!