Why do I keep losing it when I wouldn't have him back in a million years?

[mothertruckers]

Just that. Why every time he drops off picks up, do I try to be civil and end up losing it and looking like a bitter twisted wife. Granted he's only been gone for two weeks and it has been long coming so no surprises but why am I absolutely fine and then he talks in that arsey manner and it just infuriates me. Am in the bathroom while DDs watch cbeebies asking myself why I do it. I need to get a grip.

It's only be 2 weeks. The trick is to have DC ready and make doorstep handover brisk and say cheery goodbye to them and then nothing to him. And ignore him and his arseyness.

When he talks to you in that twatish way....

Put a smile on your face and think

Thank fuck I don't have to live with him anymore, think it do hard that you can't register the crap coming out of his mouth. Keep smiling as you are free from the knob....

If it's only been two weeks you're allowed to be not entirely reasonable and you don't need a grip just yet. Give yourself time.

Thanks everyone, I'm just so annoyed with myself. I hold it together every day, don't engage in prolonged contact, moving on and doing just fine. Then I lose it and i couldn't pick a worse moment to, he's probably loving it, 'she's falling apart' and all that crap. Grrrrr.

Two weeks is nothing in the scheme of things. I'm about five weeks in and still feel like an emotional yoyo and fully expect to for months. Give yourself a break...

Prepare your script even be ready to "do the shopping" or "off to drop something off" "Hello, here's their things. Bye DC, have fun, see you soon". If he asks anything try to put it off ("right I need to check, send me a text/ email about that, bye for now") close down all conversations about your day with "dc is excited to .. (whatever they're doing) ... I wont delay you".
Keep doing it. Keep doing it. Keep doing it until this act melts into just the routine.
You can close the door and swear your head off. (Or wave from the closed window saying "bye DC", "eat shit x").
Don't worry about what he thinks.