I’m not sure whether ‘relationships’ is the best place for this post so apologies. This is also a bit of a self-pitying and whingey post so apologies.
I have had a pretty crap couple of months, fell out with a close friend who I miss dearly (It was a minor disagreement, we were both at fault, I was willing to forgive and forget but they just cut me out of their life, so I have to probably face the painful truth that they weren’t that much of a good friend in the first place) A couple of other ‘friends’ just seem to have stopped bothering with me lately, it’s me making all the effort so I’ve stopped contact and will leave it to them now. However, it does make me upset, I do take it personally and wonder what I’ve done.
I’m a really sociable person, I have a group of about 6-7 close, long term friends that I socialise with the majority of the time who are great, nothing wrong there. I also have a couple of other groups of ‘acquaintances’ that I’ve acquired through my hobby/ work etc over the years who I meet up with a few times a year and go for a night out with etc.
A lady that I used to be friendly with through my hobby suddenly, for no apparent reason (or apparent to me) just turned on me last year, would make catty, snarky remarks on my FB posts, I found out she has slagged me off to a few people lately, she also is the person who started trouble with the friend I recently fell out with. If I see her at events she just looks at me like she wants me to die. I honestly have done NOTHING wrong, I have never been anything but kind and nice towards her. It’s like overnight, she just changed.
My hobby is very female dominated and so is quite bitchy, I’ve never really had any problems because I tend to just be smiley and nice to everyone, do my hobby and leave, but lately, I have hit a bit of a barrier with said hobby, my confidence has been knocked, I feel useless and paranoid that people are making unkind remarks or being bitchy about me behind my back.
I went down my local pub the other evening to see a group of guys I’ve grown up with, when I got there, one of their girlfriends was there, who incidentally I’ve known for years, went to school with her, she also has the same hobby as me so I see her out and about at competitions etc a lot. She’s always been a bit funny, I’ll see her one time and she’ll be quite friendly and say hello, chat a bit etc and then I’ll see her another time and she’ll completely blank me. I got to the pub that evening and my god, when she saw me, if looks could kill. She just refused to even really look at me or say hello?! I tried to make chit chat but she just wasn’t having any of it so I just left it. I then saw her two weeks later at a competition and she cheerily came over all smiles, said hello, how are you etc? I then saw her on a night out a few weeks later and again, she looked at me really coldly and barely said hello? WTF? Why? Why can’t people be consistent?
I think the last straw has been today, when I really needed to know what was happening on a certain evening this week with something hobby related, texted the person in Q on Friday, no response. Waited a couple of days, no response. My friends want to go out for dinner tomorrow evening (when this event was meant to be taking place) and so I texted them again last night just saying sorry to be a pest but I really needed to know what was happening as I may have other plans. They have FINALLY texted back a very blunt, 2 word response. I appreciate people are busy, so am I, but really, it takes 2 seconds to send a text, I purposefully DIDN’T ring the person (which would’ve been easiest) as I know how busy they are and so thought texting would just be easier. I just think it’s rude to leave people hanging for days, even when they send a chase. It makes you feel like a pest even though, in this instance I’m doing said person a favour so I really don’t want to have to be chasing them for days on end?
I’m just starting to feel like people hate me, like I’m this horrible person that people don’t want to know. I know I’m not, I am a good friend to, I’d do anything for my friends, I’m always there to listen, I’m supportive, sociable etc.
I never have or have had this problem with men, they are so straightforward (when you aren’t trying to date them!) They are consistent in how they are with you, they either like you and are friendly or they don’t and aren’t. That’s fine. It’s this hot and cold and constant little ‘mind games’ business with women that I can’t stand.
I hate feeling worried and anxious and paranoid all the time that people don’t like me/are bitching about me etc. I just wish people wouldn't be so rude, I have been brought up to have good manners, I always say please and thank you, I mostly always respond to people if they text me etc, i'm straight forward with people, I treat them how I would like to be treated. I am fed up of not getting the same back.
Is it just me, does anyone else ever feel like this?