Pregnant and don't know what to do

[stuffedup]

Hi, NC for this.

I've just done a pregnancy test and it's positive. Quick backstory - I was married with two DC's. Split up with XH 18 months ago and due to get decree absolute next month.

I'm in a relationship. DCs have met him, I've met his family, he's met mine. All good. He has no kids of his own but would like one. I agreed that I would be happy to have another.

But I'm just not ready. I'm not in the best situation financially, still finding my feet after the split. We don't live together. Neither of our houses is big enough to accommodate five of us. I also worry it's too soon for me and for my DC.

So I'm considering a termination. But I'm really worried that DP will want to keep the baby and that if I go through with a termination then it will damage our relationship irreparably. But I can't just not tell him, can I? I couldn't look him in the eye again.

I just don't know what to do. If this was in a year's time I would be delighted. But I'm not sure DP will understand. I'm 37 so also conscious I can't wait forever.

Not sure why I'm posting. Just need to get it out. Haven't told anyone IRL.

How would you feel if you had a termination and couldn't conceive when you tried for a baby at a later date?

I think you should think very carefully about this because of your age. What does your DP think? Have you spoken to him about it?

I haven't told him. I want to sort my head out before I do! I only did the test half an hour ago. I'm not seeing him for the next couple of nights so at least I have some time to think.

I do worry about terminating and then not being able to conceive later.