I cant remember if Ive posted about this on here or another site, but wanting to chat and ask for advice about things again as problems have flared up again.
Basically my mother is a chronic worrier, she suffers depression and anxiety which I totally understand, I too have suffered on and off since been a teenager. I had been struggling with her constant put downs towards me as a mother and any life style choices ive made. She is like it with my siblings too but they all seem to be a little bit more accepting of whats shes like and just sort of laugh it off. I dont feel close to her at all and she barely has anything to do with my children she visits now and then but its usually us making the effort to see her and even then we dont feel welcome shes nit picking at everything and her husband is just as bad its like he constantly watches the kids to make sure they arent touching things they shouldnt and they will have a conversation with each other about me or the children right in frot of us. My husband is actually refusing to go to her house and on the off chance she comes to ours he goes upstairs or out...this is due to they way she is with him. Shes got it in her head he treats me bad and she seems to think he thinks of me as a sex object (seems to think my sisters ex chap is the same aswell) eg after the birth of my youngest she said "dont let him have his way again" And my sister was on about contraception and she said "well if you didnt give in to him you wouldnt need anything".
She was in a very abusive relationship with my biological dad and I have no doubt this could be the route of her problems and last time I was posting she was having a go about me letting my daughter go to a sleep over and it was suggested she could of gone through some sort of sexual abuse at some point.... After the comments previously I have tried making more of an effort to understand her way of thinking but im finding it really hard.
Was my sons birthday last month and she came to his party but was up and down really anxious a few people noticed, she told my mother in law she was a nervous wreck that the kids were going to get hurt. Have barely heard from her since but was my sisters birthday yesterday and went to drop a present in and she was there she was so off with me when I asked why she said because shes seen some things on facebook she hadnt liked (not sure what) but she said she hadnt brought me up to be the way I am and that im palming my kids off all the time that I need to take more responsibility for them..... My eldest daughter had been staying with her dad I had mentiomned that and had also posted pics of me and my husband at our anniversary meal in which my mother in law had them the night I also had a girly night out couple weeks ago and my husband had them. That is all I can think of. I actually got really upset and had been crying all last night, think I kept my calm with her. I havent told husband because it will set him off hes waiting for an excuse to say something but obviously it will just cause more trouble... She must of known she upset me because she was commenting on lot of my fb posts last night and sharing pictures of my kids like shes grandma of the year or something. I dont know what to do anymore. I just want to have a normal mother/daughter relationship but its impossible. When I had my eldest I lived at hers still and she was a big help but she seems to have gone down hill abit I dont think her husbands an help either but hes better than her usual men.
She also seems to really resent the fact im quite close to my mother in law, shes same with my sister and her mother in law. Jst dont know what to do