Staying for the children- had the time come to stay no more?

[Speedbird85]

I have name changed to avoid detection.
Apologies as I know this will be garbled. I wi try to keep it short. I have posted before about no longer being in love with my DH of almost 20 years but staying for DS.
I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep my feelings hidden but need to do so as DS is in the midst of GCSEs.
We have gone through a difficult patch in our marriage with DH being very stressed about money even though we are both full time workers. He talks to others about life's hardships and how he takes the financial load all the time whereas the truth is we split everything. He likes to play the martyr whereas I tend to just get on with it. My glass is half full and he can't even find his. I have lost my love and respect for him. There is no fun left. We have talked but I have not told him the depth of my feelings due to DS' exams. There is no sex as I recently found out I have caught herpes from him (he says it is from his cold sores) and I feel as though I just can't touch him any more. All affection feels very forced by me and is just to keep the peace. I now feel so close to telling him I no longer want to be with him. Truthfully I am so scared to tell him how I really feel and have wished I could flick a switch and turn the feelings back on.
Has anyone experienced similar and come out the other side?

You do know the herpes could have lain dormant for many, many years? Meaning you could have got it from a previous partner? Or indeed, he caught it from you?

And if there's no previous partner on your part/his part, he's very right in saying it could be from his cold sore. People don't realise how contagious they have. When I have a cold sore on my face, I scrub my hands like crazy before even using the toilet knowing I'll need to wipe myself (no I don't wipe using my hands lol, just scared of spreading).

But in terms of everything else, I really hope you're ok OP. Sounds like a difficult time for you

I've been posting on the SN boards and this is my first time here. My situation sounds a bit similar to yours , I've been married 18 years and 2 weeks ago told my husband I wanted to separate. We have 2 DC one of whom has AS and the other will do GCSES next year ,I couldn't have chosen a worse time to do this. I've been miserable and unhappy for a long , long time ,I have told him this and he's promised to try and change but ultimately he's an EA bully . Anyway , he's absolutely devastated and says he's now a changed man and is begging me for another chance, I just don't love him any more and am looking forward to my and my DC future but he's still living in the house. Am in limbo at the moment ,I can't tell the DC until he's ready to move out as they'll want to know where Dad is going to live etc .It's horrendous ! Any advice gratefully accepted , thanks .

what's for tea, mum?
leave him.