I posted a couple of previous threads about my now ex-DP. I had a horrible time with him since the birth of DS who's almost 3. And then found out he'd been shagging some young woman in his office since DS was a tiny baby, meanwhile being an EA bully to me.
Anyway I finally made the break and found a flat for me and DS to live in and I'm completely relieved. My problem is twofold: I feel terrible guilt at the upset this will cause his DS from a previous relationship, my DSS and my son's half-brother. They are very close. I've been making an effort to keep things as normal as possible for him by visiting when ex-DP has him. DP doesn't want to tell him we've separated as he went through this with his mother and ex-DP. He is 8 now.
I don't want I keep doing this as I'm getting no time off at all . I have a lot on my plate right now as my mum has been diagnosed with dementia so I'm trying to care for her and DS with zero support from ex-DP. He has never offered to take DS - it's all about me running around to his tune. He is a bully and gets nasty and gives the silent treatment if I don't do what he wants. I know I'm being a walkover but feel guilty that if I put my foot down DSS will suffer. Oh, and ex-DP has not paid maintenance since I left a month ago...I asked him about it and he got really arsey. He doesn't think he should pay because it was me, not him, that wanted DS. Nice. And total bollocks.
I still have stuff at his house so don't want to bring up subject of maintenance until I've moved that out. He does have to pay me right?? I mean what an arse to think he doesn't have to contribute to his son's well being. Other issue is he has not committed to set times to see DS although I have offered to meet halfway to make it easier for him. But there's no effort or commitment from him.
There's other stuff I could tell you about his behaviour but any words of wisdom on how I tackle these issues much appreciated.