One step forward, two steps back?

[harman]

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It might be possible that they felt awkward and embarassed and didn't know what to say to you - esp about the pregnancy when things aren't going well between you and your dp. Also, they may be his sisters but he doesn't control them and their behavious isn't his doing. Pregnancy can make you very emotional adn as you say, you feel terrible anyway so it seems to me to be a shame to give up on counselling before it has even started just because of how his sisters acted - they aren't him and he isn't them. Why not talk to him instead of texting?

harman I really feel for you.
My dh and I have been going to a counsellor for about 4 mths. (She does relate work but we have seen her privately). His teenage daughters have been treating me like that for about 5 years, and ex-wife forever, and things were going from bad to worse. Without going into detail, I'd be here for a month!, the counselling has DEFINITELY been worthwhile. Please give it a go.

What have you got to lose by going to Relate? Yes, it might seem pointless now, but, if it didn't, would you really need to go?? What I mean is, counselling might just manage to resolve a problem which seems insurmountable now. If you are communicating by text messages, perhaps the real communication in your relationship is failing. Counselling will give each of you the opportunity to say what is important to you and, if you still feel there is no future in your relationship, so be it. However, you may find that you manage to communicate so effectively this way that you can talk your way out of an impossible situation.

Don't blame your partner for his sisters' attitudes. My SIL hasn't spoken to me properly for nearly 5 months now and I have no idea why. I certainly don't blame dh for it or expect him to sort it out. If her attitude was because of something dh had said or did, then it might be different.

Oh harman, poor you, its rotten when you feel hormonal and upset without anything else added to the mix. His sisters were, without doubt, unspeakable rude, ignoring you is bad enough, but whilst they are guests in your home is shockingly bad mannered. I would feel disgusted by them rather than upset - and be grateful you have higher standards than that
What did you want your DP to do? I doubt it would have helped to speak to them there and then would it? Please don't give up on relate before you have been - you don't want to look back in a few years and think what if? You have nothing to lose by going to counselling and everything to gain. You can air your upsets and concerns - particularly with regard to the two ugly sisters - in a "safe" forum
Lots of hugs, why don't you and the children wrap up and get outside for a walk somewhere?

Harman, so sorry you are dealing with all this. In laws can be such a pain, can't they. The only good thing for me about my PIL not speaking to us any more is that I don't have to put up with my killjoy, billy no-mates, constantly whining, humourless sister in law tagging along with them when they used to visit.

I hope things get better for you. Lots of love xx

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Harman - I'm sorry to hear that things are still going so badly. I agree with everyone who says that your SILs behaved badly. That's inexcusable. Does your dp discuss things like your relationship with his sisters? They might have heard his side of the story and be siding with him in all of this. I'm not saying that's an excuse - their behaviour was totally out of order.

How do you think you would feel if you did decide to call it a day and walk away from your relationship? Do you think you would feel better? Maybe you need to see someone from Relate on your own and discuss that side of things with them. Will your dp make life difficult for you if you split (I remember you saying before that you thought he would)? If you do decide to end it for good then you need to be prepared for that.

Sorry if I'm not being much help. Good luck with it all.