Back to square one....please help

[EmBod99]

My husband of 17 years left me 6 months ago and I totally fell apart. Was surprised how hard I found it. Spent months walking around with a knot of anxiety and a physical pain in my chest. Things did even out and I was just starting to feel okay.

Then yesterday he finally admitted (after reducing me to a crying, pathetic, begging idiot) that he is involved with someone else. I feel sick and the anxiety and pain are back. I don't know how to come to terms with this. I have 2 beautiful children and know I need to be strong for them but I just feel devastated today.

I don't know how you must feel so sorry if my advice is pathetic but what about writing a list of what you are. What do people say are your good features / aspects? What are your strong points? What are your weak points in your opinion and are they really as bad as you think? Think of other people you envy / look up to and try to see why? Do they have points that you see as quirky that they could actually see as negative themselves? Couldnt your negative points actually be seen as quirky in somebody else's eyes?
Try to build a real picture of who you are, what your principles are, who you want to be. Use colours if you want, make it a positive and enlightening activity ...don't make it about your ex or his new life - make it about you and yours and see what changes you are now able to make without having to answer to anybody but you. Hope this helps, good luck.

Oh yeah - the point is to find strength in yourself so that you can begin to build your own life again but exactly as you want it as an independent person. Try to accept his new life with gragratitude that he is doing ok - that leaves you a guilt free ticket to your future and a great big raspberry in his face when his relationship flakes and you are stronger than you ever have been before, with an amazing 'you' personality.

Thank you for your kind words and good ideas. I'm normally a very strong person but this has totally derailed me. X

I am in the same boat. ExH just announced new gf. It broke me all over again

No wonder it has derailed you. Do you think she was the reason he left?

Just be kind to yourself, let yourself grieve and be angry. It is a mourning in a way which you need to go through. Have you any RL support?

I'm incredibly lucky to have some amazing friends and family who have been brilliant.
That's exactly how I feel pieceofpurplesky - broken all over again. And sick to my stomach!