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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I just don't get it

37 replies

neverunderstandmen · 28/05/2015 21:16

Why would someone in a casual relationship who seems to be developing feelings (inviting to family get-togethers etc) suddenly end it with no reason... I'm stumped. I was quite happy with the status quo.

OP posts:

DrMorbius · 29/05/2015 09:05

Exactly cleanmyhouse thats why I said "something" rather than "someone". He has found something else that he prefers to spend his time on. Although he sounds a bit cowardly in not letting you know. One of the don't address it and it will go away brigade.

pictish · 29/05/2015 09:10

I agree with you cleanmyhouse - that he just didn't want to go on with it is reason enough.

DrMorbius he did let her know. He sent a text making himself clear. It was a casual relationship so there's no call for long winded, painful explanations.

HappenstanceMarmite · 29/05/2015 09:14

I agree that he has not finished it because he likes her 'too much'. That is the stuff or girlish fantasies and not a thing that actually happens in the real world of adults.

Exactly. Read "He's just not that into you". Sorry OP.

Original poster

neverunderstandmen · 29/05/2015 09:32

Thanks everyone. Last night was possibly just a vent after one too many I'm walking away with dignity and remembering the good times with fondness.

OP posts:

pictish · 29/05/2015 09:37

Good for you - that's the spirit. x

HappenstanceMarmite · 29/05/2015 09:53

Well done that woman

Original poster

neverunderstandmen · 03/07/2015 18:40

So a quick update - as a pp suggested, said man has got back in touch recently after no contact from my side. I did question his motives for calling it quits. Apparently he felt it was getting too serious and wasn't up for that but would like to stay friends. My user name says it all really :) Glad to have my friend back though.

OP posts:

Twinklestein · 03/07/2015 18:50

In other words, he found another woman he preferred, now that's over he's back to see if you'll have sex with him again.

Original poster

neverunderstandmen · 03/07/2015 19:04

entirely possible Twinklestein

OP posts:

DontKillMyVibe · 03/07/2015 19:47

I'd have politely declined told him where to stick his offer of friendship tbh

Janette123 · 04/07/2015 08:07

neverunderstndmen,
I'm afraid that this is the problem with unstructured, uncommitted relationships - by their very nature they are unstable.
He's obviously had enough/met someone else and has gone.
I can't see any benefit in asking him about it, just move on.

Janette123 · 04/07/2015 08:11

Sorry OP, I missed your post where you said he came back for a flying visit.
I agree he was probably testing the waters elsewhere and has now come back to see if he can have his cake and eat it.
I would be worried about STDs - it might be an idea to get tested.

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