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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Any advice on how to make this better please x

4 replies

Leics86 · 27/05/2015 15:05

Hi, any tips or advice would be appreciated. I been seeing a guy since march - we met online and have been on lots of dates. It was all going great until I messed it up!

My past relationships haven't been great... To cut a long story short we slept together and I missed a pill! Major panic so went and got morning after pill but still was so stressed. In my past a guy I was with after we broke up forced me to have sex and I has the same worry as then. I think it dragged up so many painful memories...

I basically just panicked and was so scared. I was a idiot I didn't tell him any of this just pushed him away... We argued via text - more me then him he was so nice! We spoke a little but he just wasn't the same said he feels " guarded" due to the arguement - told me it's linked to his past as there was lots of arguing growing up. He was really distant didn't reply to texts, no affection kisses etc it made me so stressed and upset.

It all escalated at the weekend and we agreed to have space. Since then I've told him my reasons for acting like this which was a big deal for me as no one really knows.... He sent a lovely reply saying it makes more sense now and I should have been honest. I felt a mess and said I think we both needs space until Friday .... And that maybe time would help to which he said maybe. I said we could go for a date Friday and he said he's free Friday sat or sunday.... That's last I heard.
I've head nothing from him and miss him like mad. I'm waiting till Friday and will message him but I have no clue how to act what to say or what he means by guarded!

Hope this makes sense and someone can offer advice thankyou xxxx

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 27/05/2015 20:28

It sounds like you both have issues from the past that could potentially destroy your relationship if you're not careful. The only way to get through this is to talk. How long have you been seeing each other?

If I was you, I would text him on Friday to see if he still wants to meet up. If he doesn't want to meet you it means he wasn't that interested in the first place.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 27/05/2015 20:30

It's 2 months in. This is way too much drama.
I mean this kindly and with respect but do you think you're ready to date after your awful experience? Have you sought counselling to deal with it?

confusedoflondon · 28/05/2015 16:57

Agree - an awful lot of drama for two months in. Can't see it going well to be honest, sorry. If you start off on this foot its very hard to pull it back I imagine

goddessofsmallthings · 28/05/2015 19:05

You conducted an argument by text???

< holds head in hands >

Has it occurred to you that when he texted he was free on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, he may have been expecting you to reply giving the day of your choice?

If a guy posted here that a woman he'd met online and had been dating for 2 months managed to miss taking a contraceptive pill after they'd become carnally acquainted for the first time and subsequently gave him a headfuck hard time because of a painful associaton with a past relationship, he'd be told to run for the hills.

If he elected to pay no heed to the above advice, he'd be an even bigger fool if he didn't guard his feelings - as in proceed with caution if he chose to continue the relationship because of the possibility that you're a drama llama and/or are consciously or subconsciously wanting to be pregnant.

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