Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being too demanding?

1 reply

Tinmansheart · 27/05/2015 10:09

NC'd for this.

Backstory: DH and I both late 30's, together 19 years, married 15. Twin DC's (14). No money worries, both have good jobs.

The problem is we have always had mismatched sex drives (mine higher) apart from at the start when it was all new. I have been able to cope with this, until now. DH has recently been diagnosed with an illness, his is in pain a lot of the time and has some mobility issues. It is not a serious illness and as treatment is starting next week he should soon be back to normal. He has carried on working throughout, although not been able to do any hobby related activities as the pain is too much. He is tired all the time. I do all his errands and help out as much as I can.

I work full time and do all of the household chores and cooking, walking the dog etc. I have carried on with my hobbies. The problem lies in that there is no sex, no intimacy and certainly no affection. We can sit on the sofa next to each other every night and there is nothing. We get along well and laugh lots. The no sex is a new thing, but the no intimacy/affection is not, its been like it for a while. I just feel trapped and lonely. I cant see my life being like this forever, I am still young and have needs. I am thinking of having words and telling him how I feel and that if things don't change in a few months I am leaving. Is that too harsh, am I giving up on an otherwise good marriage?

OP posts:
GoatsDoRoam · 27/05/2015 10:22

The issue isn't mismatched sex drives, it's two things:

  • He's ill and in pain, so sex is genuinely off the table; however
  • Lack of closeness and physical affection does not have to be off the table due to illness. It's terrible that it's gone, and that's the area I think you both need to work on.

What happens if you initiate cuddles on the sofa?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page