So once you've decided to leave... why's it all so much harder?

[NotWorkingOut]

I finally had the straw that broke the camel's back moment last week and realised that our relationship is very definitely over. Since then though, everything has become 10 times harder and I feel like I'm in quicksand.

Long story short, we've been together about 5 years, things haven't been great for the vast majority of that time, but I've kept plodding on. Despite living together, finances have always been his and mine, all household tasks fall to me (wasn't an issue when I wasn't working, but a major bone of contention now) and there's virtually zero intimacy (sex roughly once every 12 months when he feels he has to keep me happy). I've changed and grown as a person since we got together, but we now literally have nothing in common.

Since I had "the moment" though, everything has been a massive struggle. I can't afford to leave her, I was planning on getting everything in order first before saying anything to him, which means I'll need to save about 2 grand for depoait/first month's rent/fees. That could take quite some time though. I'm also worrying that a few bounced DDs and needing partial housing benefit is going to make it impossible for me to find a new house. I'll have an excellent reference from current LLs, but not sure how much use that will be.

I'm finding it so hard keeping everything together now though, I'm growing really resentful and really just want out. I'm not sure I can take another 6 months of this, but can't see another way really :(

Sorry for the rambly rant!

Anyone?! :(

Is moving in temporarily with family/friends an option?

Do you need more than one bedroom? If not, look for a house/flat share where the rent/deposit is likely to be considerably less than 2 grand and there'll be no fees.

Moving in with family wouldn't be an option, I've 2 small ones (not his). I need to make it as easy a move as possible for them really as they've got a lot else going on too! I really do pick my timing well!

Really struggling with it all this morning :( my initial plan was to wait it out til I had some money behind me, get a new house sorted out and then tell him, but the more I think about it, the more it seems impossible. It's got to be very clear to him that it's over, we've barely spoken for weeks and I do avoid spending too much time with him.

I was thinking last night, he's got a not insignificant amount in savings (meant to be saving to buy a house together), as much as I really want to do it all by myself, would it be very wrong to ask him to lend me some money so I can move out? I can't get my head round how I feel about that cos it feels wrong, but part of me's saying it's not.

I feel so hurt atm and bloody wish I'd done it sooner rather than spending the last few years just saying "oh it'll all get better soon and our relationship will suddenly be wonderful! "