Staying alone?

[patch123]

Are any of you divorced with children and have choosen to stay single and believe you and your kids will be happier? Or is everyone ultimately looking to settle down?

My mum divorced my dad when I was a nipper and has stayed single since then.

When I was younger I wanted my mum to find a man and be happy. What I didn't realise is that she was happy - on her own, with her children.

She likes the simple life and for her that means being single.

FWIW myself and my siblings had a wonderful childhood with just my mum. Whenever my father made an appearance (which wasn't often thank god), things went to shit.

Would it have unsettled you if she'd brought a new man into your lives,

I honestly couldn't say. I suppose it would depend on the man?

I remember desperately wanting my mum to find someone, I feared she would be lonely once we all flew the nest (as it turns out she isn't - one of my siblings still lives there with their children).

I guess yes, thinking about it, of course our lives would have changed had she brought a man into the mix. But I couldn't say whether it would be a good or bad change IYSWIM?

Your question is rhetorical as it didn't happen for tesco, patch, but it's probable any unsettlement would have been shortlived provided the new man wasn't an abusive or controlling twunt.

What goddess said!

This is a particularly interesting subject for me not only because of my childhood but because of the situation I find myself in at the moment...

I think it's an individual choice. If you think you would be happier with a partner, don't prevent yourself from looking because you think your kids will be unhappier. Just make sure the person you meet is compatible with your parenting ethos.

Equally if you feel happier single, then don't push yourself to meet someone because you're trying to provide role models for your kids.

I think ultimately happy mum = happy kids.

I have been single since my last relationship ended 2.5yrs ago and at this point I don't see myself living with anyone again, although I would probably date casually in the future. But my son has left home now so a bit immaterial.

Tesco, what is your current situation? I am 40yr, divorced with two boys and currently feeling like I should do it alone even though I have a partner (sort of)

I'm a single parent in my 40's and plan on staying that way. I don't have the time, energy or inclination for a romantic relationship, I feel happy and fulfilled without one.
I do realize that is quite unusual though.

Newly single 30 something, with a 4 year old.

Not planning on meeting anyone any time soon - I am enjoying being single and concentrating on my child. But can't imagine I will want to be alone forever...