Is it always an automatic 50/50 asset split in a divorce? Advice pls

[newnamesamegame]

I asked my H to move out and he moved about a month ago. Background was years of arguing and recently months of abusive episodes including threatening me several times and destroying my property. Decided I didn't want DC to grow up in this environment any more.

Although up to this point its been reasonably amicable he called me yesterday ranting and raving about wanting his "due" in the divorce.

I don't have much in the way of savings and all the equity I have is tied up in the house. Am terrified I will have to sell it to give him his half share.

Is there any chance I may be able to avoid this?

Facts are as follows:

Married 9 years
One DC, lives with me. He's not challenging this.
My name alone on deeds
He did not contribute any equity or money when we bought the house, has not made any payments towards mortgage. All that was in my name.
He worked, did not look after DC
He contributed to household in the sense that he bought food and household items but that was about it. Didn't contribute towards childcare bill.

I can prove, if necessary, that I called the police on him and that he has had an affair. Not sure if these are relevant in a potential asset split.

I am going to talk to a lawyer but would appreciate thoughts on this.

You might be able to get an order so you can stay in the property until the kids are 18 - however you would have to meet all the costs to stay yourself like bills and mortgage. He would only have to pay maintenance could you do that?

He would probably only get 30 to 40 percent as you have the kids. Can you buy him out!

Depends how much equity is in the house. If a lot you can be ordered to sell (I was.)

If you are married it doesn't matter that he didn't actually pay the mortgage.

I would start thinking of a way of buying him out.

Do you or he have any savings or pensions? All that goes into the pot but could be used to trade off some of the equity.

The affair or how he treated you is totally irrelevant.

Obviously every divorce is different so get legal advice ASAP.

Flabulous Yes I could do that -- he's not paying a penny now.

I would go to see a solicitor and get proper legal advice. He is almost certainly entitled to less than 50% of the marital assets, as you have a child. You are also entitled to a share of his pension. What other assets does he have? Even if you don't really want them, you will probably have to go after them, in order to give you negotiating power over the equity in the house.
His violence may be helpful in getting legal aid.

But go and get proper advice (lots of solicitors will give you an initial 1/2 hr for free, so you can judge if you can work with them).

Affair is irrelevant, unless he is cohabitating already.

Mesher Order (to stay in the house until the children are 18) subject to voluntary agreement or that there is a big enough pot of money to house you both. Otherwise the house will need to be put on sale unless you can buy him out.

Mesher orders are great if the children are teenagers, but can be a catastrophe if you have young children (by the time they are 18th you may be too old to secure an affordable mortgage, and no matter how much you invest in house improvements, the agreed percentage won't change). I fought long and hard for one, I am now extremely grateful I didn't get it.

There is no thumb rule when it comes to percentages you will get if the children stay with you, as courts would try to get both parents in an equal footing ie.:

-The biggest earner may be given a smaller percentage to make up for the other's low salary

• The court orders the house to be sold to provide each of you a deposit to buy smaller properties.

He has no assets whatsoever.
I can't buy him out at the moment.
I have about £10k in savings and a roughly £40k pension but don't think I can touch the pension now.
I don't want to sell the house but a legal agreement not to sell sounds like a bit of a millstone. Would rather come to a voluntary agreement with him that he won't force me to sell but in his present mood not sure if he would do that.

Doesn't matter that you can't touch your pension now. It still gets added to the overall sum of assets. If necessary, the court can order a Pension Sharing Order. That means one pension can to transferred to someone else. It remains as pension - it has to be transferred into another pension scheme.

I received just less than 70% of the equity in the family home in my divorce (he bought me out). That's with 50/50 custody of kids and no spousal support. Ex-H earns a lot more than me though so I could have argued for spousal but chose to deal with it via equity split. I also got some of his pension (both pots added together and shared equally).