I've name changed, but am a long time MNetter.
There is lots of back story, but I'll keep things as brief as I can.
Last year, when I was pregnant I became aware that my 'd'h was becoming more and more distant, disinterested in the children, and obsessive and possessive over his phone. I asked him about an affair, but he denied. In time, he barely spoke to me, and told me he wanted to leave. He moved out and barely contacted the dc at all.
Fast forward to the week before my due date, and I asked him to come round to discuss finances. I saw that his screen saver was of another woman. I asked about her, and was told in a blase manner that this was the woman he was seeing. I asked him to leave, and promptly went into labour.
Anyway, a couple of days later, whilst I was still in hospital as baby had been in SCBU, he rang me in floods of tears telling me he'd made a terrible mistake. In time I allowed him to come home. He seemed very repentant and full of remorse. It turned out the other woman lived abroad and they'd only met online, but he'd had a tattoo for her, promised her a home in England...
Soon after I took him back, this other woman began harassing me via all sorts of methods. Some of it was quite terrifying but I ignored it all, but each time she contacted me, it reminded me of my dh's infidelity.
Roll on a few months, and surprise surprise, my dh became distant and phone obsessed again. With a baby and returning to work though, I just ignored it as I guess I felt resigned. It wasn't until one day that I unplugged my dh's phone from the charger while he slept that I saw a notification that he'd been sent photos from another woman via a website app. I googled the app, and sure enough, it's a site for meeting people. I rang him the next day and asked him outright. Initially he said it was harmless but agreed I wouldn't want to read the messages as they were inappropriate. I told him it was over, I can't live like this anymore. Within a week he'd moved out again. Only he changed his story and said the site is just for chatting to new friends, that he's done nothing wrong, that he moved out because I ended it and told him to go.
Call me suspicious, but I joined the site myself and found him within moments. The things I have read have broken my heart all over again. He had been referring to me as his ex for weeks, long before I knew about the site. He has a girlfriend on there- they call each other hubby and wifey. He tells people what a bitch I am. When he's looked after the children, he says it's because his ex is 'fucking him about', not that this is his prearranged times to see them. When it was our dc's baptism, he referred to this as 'having to do some family shit'. There is so much more, but it is all so petty and ridiculous. Even the way he writes like a 20 year old in slang and text speak makes me cringe.
He's lied to everyone. Everyone. I've asked him outright if he's met someone, he says no. He told me he's going away next week, so won't see the children. I asked if he was meeting someone, he said no. Trouble is, I've seen the booking confirmation for his flights to go and meet his new woman! They have both been crowing about how they can't wait to finally meet each other and keep each other up all night. I know all of this, but can't bring myself to tell him.
Some might say it has nothing to do with me, but he's been carrying this on behind my back when with me. I think if the messages he sent her whilst lying next to me in bed, and feel sick.
What should I do with the knowledge I have? I guess I want him to admit his unfaithfulness, but I don't know why I care or what difference it will make. I'm so hurt and confused.