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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Don't want to be friendzoned - what do I do next?

29 replies

DollyRocker1 · 25/05/2015 08:57

There's a guy called Paul that I've been volunteering with recently and feel that there might be a bit of a spark between us. ( This isn't the guy BTW that was overstepping the mark. He still likes me despite being told that I'm not interested.)

I see Paul in person every 1-2 weeks for volunteering and in the past couple of weeks Paul and I have been having a few Facebook chats finding out lots about each other. I think he asked me out via FB on Friday night but I was tired so I may have abruptly cut him off before we could sort something out. We were talking about arranging a sports night and then he said ....

"Great idea about sports night. Would have to find a sport that everyone can do. Bowling? I agree that the drinks are a bit boring. I went once, was just standing around chatting about nothing, should be a bit better organised. If my maternal granddad is anything to go by, I'm in luck. Should we go bowling at some point to find the perfect venue? ??"

I then said I would loved to but that I was tired and wished him a good night.

Sorry if I sound like a teenager but I'm pretty clueless. I'm next seeing Paul on Tuesday but I'm unlikely to be able to talk to him on my own. I realise that nothing may come of this but I have a tendency to friendzone myself with guys I actually like! So any tips on what I should do now would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Taghain · 27/05/2015 21:01

What's wrong with being overly keen? You need to get the message across, so just ask. Blokes don't always get the message if you're subtle

DollyRocker1 · 27/05/2015 21:10

But my experience is if I show I'm keen they lose interest Confused. Like they like the mystery of being a bit out of reach or something. But maybe they were just the wrong guys.

OP posts:
MadeMan · 27/05/2015 22:16

Maybe they just weren't properly interested in the first place, Dolly. I'd imagine that anyone who fancied somebody would jump at the chance to go out with them if they were asked; I know I would. Smile

I would only 'lose interest' if I didn't fancy the keen woman and not because I enjoyed the mystery.

DollyRocker1 · 31/05/2015 13:15

Well, I left it a few days and he contacted me and without prompting asked when I'd be free to go bowling Smile I'm about to go on holiday so it won't be until I get back but am happy. Will keep you posted.

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