I'm about to send my ex a friend request on fb

[4TimesIntoTheSameWall]

I'm over him. He was emotionally abusive but I've got on with life. Can I send him this request? I don't love him anymore but I want him to know that my life has carried on and I've moved on. Even if it still hurts sometimes.

As a side note one of my good friends got married today so I'm feeling a little emotional.

All he will see is you are thinking about him! It's a power trip.

Talk to us instead

He will see you haven't moved on one inch because you are happy to let him back into your life.

Now if he saw you in the street looking great and happy and you didn't see him, that would be fine. But here you are saying, "Hey come and look at me and my happy life." It's completely different.

Please OP, please don't do it. You will regret it bitterly.

If you send a friend request, he'll think that you've not got over him.

Just make a few well chosen pics which represent your new brilliant life public to all - because he will undoubtably have searched for you and had a nose, and will again.

And don't friend him.

But do talk to us and tell us why he is still in your head.

OP, how would you feel honestly to see how well he has possibly moved on? How would you feel if he rejected your request? Is he a distant/recent ex? It's really not a good idea for a whole multitude of reasons. If you've genuinely moved on, you won't need to prove to him how much you have...

Don't do it

He's not a friend. He's an ex, usually for a good reason.

Leave it for a week, then if you still want to add him go ahead.

You are clearly not over him if you feel the need to show him how good your life is. Save yourself some heartache and stay away from FB until the urge goes.

He emotionally abused you, ergo he's not your friend. You deserve better.
I know how you feel, but it'll pass.

Why bother? He might think your interested.

He won't get a friend request from you and think "Oh look, she's moved on, she's done well for herself". That just doesn't follow. He'll get a friend request and think "She misses me, she's thinking about me, she wants me back."

You put him back in a position of power being able to view your profile and accept or reject, either.

Talk here. Weddings are weird things, they always stir up emotions. But he's not the right person to turn too. He won't pick you up.

I did this once. It was bad.

Just don't.

I lost a lot of friends because he got in touch with them and told them all sorts of things about me to make me look like a monster.

It's better not to go there.

If you have to ask then the answer is going to be no. If you were over him then you wouldnt have to ask. If he wasnt an abuser then you wouldnt have to ask. If it was genuine friendship then you wouldnt have to ask.

You would be better off blocking him to be honest.

No, I can see your logic, but let him send you one and then accept it, if you feel at peace.Don't let his warped little mind think that you even recall his name. I had a similar situation, but he did not request me, he requested my BF who he hardly knows, it was just another reminder of what a twat he was.

What do you think will happen if he accepts your request? That he'll fess up to being ea, send you flowers by way of apology, and ask to meet up for more of the same?

Get real, honey, and stop checking him out on facebook or any other social media site.

If, on the other hand, you want to give him the impression that you're gagging for it needy and desperate you'll take no notice of the wise advice you've been given here.

Don't let him back into your life. He will not learn the lesson you want him to, merely assume you want him back and be smug as fuck.

Do not do it, keep your dignity.

The reasons you give for wanting to send him a friend request show that you are not completely over him. So that is why you shouldn't send it.

Everyone has these weak moments. I still have them about exes who I am really over. But every now and then something happens and I am reminded and the feeling creeps over me...

The best thing to do when this happens is to ignore. Go do something else. See how you feel tomorrow and the day after. I bet after this moment passes you won't feel any need for contact with him at all.

God no!! KEEP AWAY.

Why is it so important for you to show him how you've moved on?
The fact that you feel the need to show him, is enough to show him that you have not moved on.
When you move on, there is no need to look back.

Life is about moving forwards and not living in the past. Leave him where he is behind you

Block him on facebook all together, and make sure your page is very private. Then nobody can see anything unless they have your express permission. The last thing you should do is care what he thinks about you. Why do you need him to validate your life?

Sorry, I didn't mean to come across as a twat. I hate him but I want to show him how much I've moved forward. Even if it is fake.

He was a bastard to me. I hate him. But he's always tried to get in touch. So now I thought perhaps I'd get in touch and for once I would have the power? If I sound stupid, I don't mean to, but I thought that now I could take back that power because I no longer care?

But you do care, clearly. Otherwise what he thought wouldn't matter anymore, don't you see?