My DM regularly has overseas students who are studying at a local uni to stay at her house. They get to see how regular British people live, and she gets to show them around her local area, entertain them, they may cook their traditional dishes for her, etc. She seems to really enjoy it.
Anyway yesterday our cat died. DD phoned DM to tell her. DM asked if she could come round when we buried the cat (later on, when DH got home from work, and could do the digging). I said yes, and DD relayed that to DM down the phone.
I then realised that DM had her uni guests, and she would be bringing them DM likes to bring them round unannounced to my house- drives me mad, as I work full time, and DH works very long hours the housework build up over the week - they urn up at teh weekend, usually when I'm in my scruffs, scrubbing the kitchen floor, with a bag of recycling by the front door, and a pile dirty washing dumped in the dining room waiting for turn in the washing machine. I have told DM this embarrasses me. It seems I am unreasonable.
Anyway, back to burying the cat...I didn't phone DM to invite her to the burial. She wasn't fond of the cat, and I didn't think it was appropriate she was there considering how upset DH was...he's gone to work, and the cat was OK, he'd come home and had to bury her. He'd gone to the garden center, spent ages choosing the right rose and properly sobbed when he buried her. The cat was our first baby, something to keep us occupied after an early miscarriage but my DM does not know this I really didn't feel it was moment a grown man in his 40's wanted to share with strangers, and DH agrees.
So DM phoned me in the evening, pointing out we hadn't phoned or invited her to the burial. I told her all about the events of the day, and how upset the DC were. She told me she was glad I had an eventful life. (I am over analysing this, and worrying she is lonely, but seriously she fills every moment of her life with engagements)
She then popped round today when we were having lunch, with her uni students. I didn't invite them to stay for lunch...mostly because we didn't actually have anything left to give them. I know DM thinks I should at least have offered a cup of tea to them, to show some good old English hospitality. Although they had just had a cup of tea at church...she takes them for the experience.
I feel like I have been rude. But TBH, I am fed up of being the local tourist attraction for students from abroad, as in "Look at this typical UK family in their 3 bed semi, this is how we live around here." I don't mind sharing birthday celebrations, etc with passing strangers, but I'm not going to share the burial of our cat.
How much of a bitch am I?
That was long. I don have issues. 