Glad to get this off my chest!

[24para]

I met a guy a year and a half ago in Twitter, we got talking and hit it off, after 4 months of backwards and forwards travelling to see each other dates and hours on phone we decided to make it official I knew he had a little boy from a previous relationship. Another 4 months down the line we moved in together and I quickly became pregnant a joy to us both! At 3 months pregnant I discovered he didn't just have 1 child but 4 and that he was married to their mother. He had never told me any of this. I'm haven't told any of my friends and family and now I feel like I'm living a lie, things are good between us and we have a beautiful 4 month old daughter. I'm just having such a struggle accepting his other 3 kids after I so wanted to give him his only daughter and now he has 3. In haven't spoken to anyone about this so pleased to get it off my chest!

Above is my story!

Congrats on the birth of your baby daughter!

Why didn't he tell you he was married and had 4 children? How do you feel about it?

I hope you have all your legal/financial cards in order as because he is married his wife will be get everything/be in charge of everything as next of kin should the worse happen to him! You wouldn't even get a say in his funeral.

You and your DC will be left high & dry unless this is sorted.

Also how the hell can you ever trust a man who lied to you for 8 months about being married and forgot that he had 3 extra kids tucked away?

I don't know why you'd be concerned about giving anything special to such a lying arsehole. I think you're focussing on entirely the wrong thing tbh. He's a massive, untrustworthy liar, what do you plan to do about the fact that you can't trust a word that comes out of his mouth?

Oh and if he's lying about them, how much lying is he doing about you and your dd?

Can you clarify the current situation?

Why are you still with a guy who lied so spectacularly and denied his children? A shit partner and father no?

Blimey, you have found yourself a right bastard, haven't you? Not only is he married, but he has he got four children already and got you pregnant within 8 months of meeting him.

What does he say to all this? How did you discover he was married? Does he see his other children?

I'm so glad you have a lovely daughter, but I doubt you can trust her father as far as you can throw him.

Is this the 'Pick Me' dance of all 'Pick Me' dances?

He's still married. He has three children with his wife but he's living with you and your baby? Does he see his wife and family?

What kind of 'accepting' are you trying to do?
Has he talked to you about his family? Is 'accepting' about merging his child and yours?

Its not sounding too good, tbh. Perhaps you're just accepting this will be a short-term arrangement and enjoying it while you can?

Wait, what?

I'm confused.

Has he separated from his wife and lied to you about how many DC he has?

not helpful, but what a forgetful man, to forget he has another family. Does he have amnesia ?

So what is the current position with his wife?

I feel a bit sorry for the OP, because she didn't know he was married and had 4 children so it must have come as a terrible shock to her. She's also got a 4 month old baby so she's probably feeling quite vulnerable.

OP, how are you coping with the news? Are you going to tell your friends and family? Hope you're okay.

"after 4 months of backwards and forwards travelling to see each other dates and hours on phone we decided to make it official"

What did you do to make it official? Put an announcement in the Times?

If your friends and family believe the porkies he's told you then you're not only living a lie, you're perpetuating it.

Have you met his wife or any of his 4 children?

He sounds delightful.

Did he just ignore all those children during the 7 months he was living with you before you found out??? Not see them, no contact?

So what is the current position with his wife?

Oops. Apologies for the double post!

Makes me wonder if there are other children/partners he's not declared.

things are good between us
How the fuck can things be good when you're in a relationship with such a lying bastard. He lied to you about being married and the number of children he has, not just a white lie but a huge monstrous one- his truth dodging arse would have well gone by now if I were you.

That occurred to me too, FryOne... could it be that he has the 1 dc he originally claimed to have with his dw and 3 with other women?

How did you discover he was married and that he had 4 dc, OP? And what was his reaction when you told him what you'd found out?

"Things are good" between you yet you feel like you're living a lie? Sounds like things are pretty awful between you to me!

Thanks all just after some support.

He is not with his wife anymore and had been separated for 3 years prior to us meeting and was house sharing. He moved hundreds of miles to be with me and did have contact with his children during that time. Apparently he was scared that if I knew about all of his children I would reject him and wanted to be happy for himself for once and not let his past get in they way

This does not bode well.

He lies to you to get you to accept him.

I'd want to know how many other lies he's told you tomake him seem more acceptable.

I like the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth when I'm in a relationship.

Otherwise you are not living in reality .....just someone else's fantasy.