I've one dc with Dyslexia and one with ASD.
ExH just shrugged his shoulders and never got on board with any of it, except for throwing his hands up in the air re dd2 and saying 'don't be so silly' to her.
It's been me doing all the reading to the dc, hours of SLT, tuition, handling the behaviour, advocating, researching, chasing appointments, assessments, meetings etc., as well as running a house, working full time, feeding, shopping, organising, school/work/house/life admin, cooking, cleaning. Hard not to lose respect in those circs. And yes, I did tell him what I needed, and gave an ultimatum before I had enough.
He begrudged even having to tidy up toys.
Plus treated me with contempt and tried to control me.
After I kicked him out all that was left was the dent in the sofa which he created from sitting in his arse being grumpy and feeling short-changed in life, during his ten years of being a dad.
Call it different approaches to parenting or being crap - either way it's exasperating and very unbalanced. And you aren't getting the support or a partnership.
If the respect has been eroded then I think there's no way back.