There's a lot of history and other things but it would take far too long to explain all that.
Basically I was pregnant, but my relationship with do was awful at that time (he smashed my things and acted like a general psycho and scares the tap out of me) and I had hyperemesis so had an abortion. It wasn't an easy decision but it was the right and and I so t feel particuarly guilty or bad BUT, ever since then (4ish weeks ago) my life just seems so, so stressfull and I can't handle it.
I get random abuse from his mother as well but he doesn't think he should stand up to her :S apparetlt she thinks im lying about the abortion. I haven't e en told anyone he told her, so how am i lying?
Basically, we argue SO BAD. I'll mention something that bothers me, a little thing, and he screamed at me, grabbed me and threw me onto the floor and generally was a dick. Kw this is where its weird, there's something wrong with me recently o just can't handle this situations I got so stressed out I punched myself in the face and have a massive black eye, and amahed a mug on my head. Its so emvarassing I have no idea why I do it ita like km possesef and I just hate myself so much jn that moment. DP just carried on the arguments whilst I was in that state and begging him to stop, obviously its not his fault im going mad but I feel like of he loved me he'd have some sympathy? Or atleasy not carry on saying horrible things about me whilst I feel like that!? He laughed, called me and attention seeker and threaten to film me. I feel like km actually breaking like my mind is just snapping and the guy who is meant to love me is just making fun of me.
Don't know what to do. Don't have anyone else.