Feelings to ignore

[Blackbeauty91]

Hello everyone,
I hope you all don't judge me. I'm a female around my mid 20s. I have been single for 3 years hardly dated anyone, I couldn't trust people I still kinda can't. That being said I've known this guy for 3 years we were mostly friends but now things are going more romantic and he makes me happy. But I've seen things online and I'm always so negative we are dating but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend, he says it's because he has trust issues as will but I think if he really liked me asych as he says wouldn't he take the risk? Well my ex boyfriend which was a jerk is trying to talk me again and lately he's being getting to me and I kissed my ex boyfriend, I feel guilty cause of the other guy. I'm so confused, mabey I should just be single and not date at all if I have trust issues. I don't want to hurt anyone myself.

I think that dating-not-girlfriend breeds trust issues.
I presume the difference is exclusivity?
I know it's all very modern way to just date. But...
He's known you three years. It's OK to say, I'm not offering non exclusive dating. I'm only offering girlfriend.

But you do sound like you could do with talking to someone about these trust issues. And your own decisions - why kiss a jerk of an ex?
You may have had break from dating, but during the break you need to work through issues, not just ignore them.

If you want this guy as your boyfriend, tell him you're only offering girlfriend, take it or leave it.

Completely agree - where the hell has this "but we haven't had the "exclusivity chat" yet......as far as i am concerned, if i'm dating someone, he's my boyfriend. Not partner, boyfriend. And it's just decent to expect the same of him.

Argh! I meant "where has this concept come from?".....

It's the way it should be. Too many people get tied down with one person and should be dating lots of people and having fun until they find one person they want to be exclusive to. At that point you talk about going exclusive.

So you both have trust issues?

What are you afraid of? What is he afraid of? And why did you kiss your ex boyfriend if he's a jerk and you don't like him?

It sounds to me as if you need to do some thinking about why you are choosing the wrong men. There are lots of lovely men out there, you just need to find one that makes you happy. You may also need to work on your self-esteem. Easier said than done I know, but think about it.

One little tip - don't ever tolerate a man that messes you around or plays with your feelings. If they mess you around - dump them and move on!

If this guy doesn't want you then find a man who does!

It's definitely not for me, nor for anyone I know........if I am dating I am dating, but I'm also honest if I feel it isn't working out. Dating more than 1 at a time......no one i know does that.......not beyond a couple of dates anyway. But, I am 41....I can imagine it's a whole different ball game in your 20's....

Thank you all yes I'm just gonna work on myself and take the rest day by day.