Do you just mind if I.........................................................?

[redapple]

I am being SO BLOODY REASONABLE to my newly exDH (midlife crisis, office affair, grumpy old git...) that I just want to scream here for a while if thats ok with you?
-In order not to screw up our kids lives too much, I am remaining quite civil to the man. He pops in after work to see the kids everyday and though I would like to change the locks - I put up with his company.
-I resist screaming obsenities at him when he turns on the kind of pained 'I am suffering too here' expression.
-I am still being very nice to his mum.
-I very politly told him not to discuss such matters with me now when he tried to tell me how tiring his day had been at work today.

I am normally a very laid back kind of gal but the effort this is taking is leaving me feeling a little tense, so if you don't mind...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oooh, that feels better. Thank you.

OOOH you are welcome, that is just about the best use of Mumsnet that I have heard in a long time, well done to you for putting your kids first
Rant away.

You are welcome

Thats a common gripe I've noticed. ExH's still wanting to whinge about their bad day, and garner sympathy, thinking that their ex wives give a shit any more, or their lives are harder somehow.

Can you not make yourself scarce when he comes round

You are welcome

Thats a common gripe I've noticed. ExH's still wanting to whinge about their bad day, and garner sympathy, thinking that their ex wives give a shit any more, or their lives are harder somehow.

Can you not make yourself scarce when he comes round

oooh, you are doing well... glad you've got mumsnet or your head would probably explode. see you back here tomorrow night, probably.

I have been taking myself off to do something in another room when he arrives but the bugger followed me today to try and complain about his day, the traffic etc.

ooo i think another outburst may be coming on...

Can you not say to him

"Im sorry you had a bad day, but I dont have to listen to it anymore. Tell it to the office strumpet"

Do you think bottling it up is going to be unhealthy and make all my hair fall out? Or should one be strong and dignified for the sake of the children?

VeniVidiVickiQV - I wish I'd thought of that!

It's not too late....

both. so don't bottle it up... come here and rage, rage against the dying of the light. (and deffo give him the line about the office strumpet.)

And console yourself in the fact that, at the end of the day, you are simply a much better person than him.

And definitely slip the 'strumpet' comment in.

You should be proud of yourself - rant to us, and remain the soul of restraint and dignity in front of him.

I am actually not too heart broken that he has left, I'd had enough of him after a really crappy year...this is soooooooo crap that I can't actually get rid of him, it's almost like I've still got all the crappy side of the relationship left while he gets to do as he pleases. I realise that I am saying crap alot but it is really very crap.

it does sound pretty crap... [wan smile]

On a brighter note, he has taken to wearing an earring and some new unsuitable clothes for his age and girth - which I am finding mildly amusing in a what on earth will he be wearing today kind of way.

LOL

You still have a sense of humour - thats excellent!

an earring... christ, that's a bit embarrassing.

Not as embarrassing as the hat he had on yesterday.

I'm off to bed, going to dream up some icy one line put downs to include in tomorrow evenings visit.

Thank you for letting me rant!

ppppffffffffft. hat.