Just been away for a couple of days, without the kids, to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. He has been staying in a nice hotel so I travelled up by train to spend a couple of nights with him. He took time off work.
The thing is, for the whole 2 days & nights, we didn't hold hands at all, he didn't even offer me his arm. He didn't like it when I sat close to him on a sofa in the hotel bar. We went for a lovely walk and when I sat down to look at the view, I actually had to shout at him to come and sit with me, as he was standing looking at the view so far away. All this whilst in view of an elderly couple who were sitting next to each other and a younger couple who sat with his head in her lap, being romantic! If you didn't know, you would never have been able to tell we were married at all, let alone for a landmark anniversary. His excuse, when I talked to him about it when we got home was that he doesn't like PDAs at all.
He obviously doesn't like private DAs either, as we didn't even have sex during the whole time away (despite no kids and not having to worry about being interrupted). I dressed up for him on night 1, and he got his end away, but then there was nothing else.
Add to that the fact that he seemed to spend all day farting and belching and being downright horrible to be around and I just wonder what we are doing still together. I mentioned his horrid habits and have suggested he gets to the Dr as there must be something wrong with his digestion?! I don't want to put up with this for the next 20 years. He has developed a horrible habit of farting, belching and I think it's due to him bolting his food - his table manners have gone completely awol! He eats so fast, chomps, then swallows without chewing, so it's no wonder his digestion is so bad? Is it me, or do men seem to think that after 20 years, their wife will tolerate absolutely anything in the manners dept?
When I arrived his first comment was "I don't like your hair up, I hope you're not keeping it like that when we go out". I showered to freshen up which I was going to do anyway and we went out, hair down. Second night, I put my hair up in a french plait and yes, he commented again about how I made more effort to go out with my GFs and he prefers my hair big & fluffy. I stuck to my guns and said it had taken me ages to plait my hair and big n fluffy hair was so 80's! Nothing more said.
He also made a comment when looking at another woman along the lines of "if I'd still been single, that's the kind of woman I'd go for". Err, hello?! I made a catty remark that he'd have to get a lot fitter for her to reciprocate.
We had a chat about it once we'd got home and when I said I felt we'd just become good friends his response was "but we are each other's best friends, aren't we?". AIBU to think we are actually more than that? He did admit that maybe he had forgotten how to just be a couple, since we had the kids, but we have been away together before and it's not been so awkward.
What gone so wrong - I really thought we'd gone through our 'bad patch' (last couple of years have been a real test, with relationship issues and money problems) and had sorted things out but now it feels like we're back to square one.