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Original poster

Do you think he's creepy or sweet?

39 replies

Ellexx · 18/05/2015 10:41

I have been seeing a guy for approximately 3 months. However in some respects he is SO full on and i am beginning to see this as a bit of a red flag:

  • He put a photo up of us both on his instragram page when it was my birthday only 6 weeks of dating, i thought this was quite sweet at the time, but i will state it as its relevant with everything else!
  • Again after 6 weeks of dating, he put a photo of us as his phone background.
-He messages me every single morning when he wakes up
  • We spoke about the night that we had met a few days before, this was brought up again and he told me he looked at his bank statements online to find the exact date of when we met.
  • This date was then set to his pin code on his iPhone to access it.

All the above i could handle, i thought it was quite full on, but it wasn't a deal breaker. I saw him yesterday, all was going well then he told me something that lead me to writing this! In his iPhone, he's wrote a note with all the dates that we have met? so its a big list of '17/05/2015' etc. I would estimate there was around 15/16 dates in there! I was pretty shocked, if not a bit creeped out! I really didn't know what to say when he showed me!

Bit of background: Everything else is going well, he treats me well- he is also going to visit family in china for 3 months on wednesday, so i think he's worried i am going to end it when he goes away, so whether this is a reason for him being very keen I'm not sure? I admit, i do have my barriers up because I've been hurt a lot so unless he's trying to over compensate to show me he won't hurt me?

I should also mention he has OCD- i really do not know enough about it to determine whether this could influence his behaviour, but again its something i have considered?

Just wondered what your thoughts were? I think because he's going away it gives me the chance to either keep seeing how it goes, or end it? I am a bit confused how i feel.

OP posts:
katrinefedora · 19/05/2015 15:47

You both sound very sweet Smile

You just need to play it by ear really, you're both fairly young - dating people who aren't "quite" right is all part of the story.

Keep communicating and if he does something that makes you feel uncomfortable or if you feel stifled and like it isn't going anywhere then break things off in a respectful way.

Like you say, I think the three months apart could be a make or break time in terms of how you both feel.

avantbard · 19/05/2015 16:19

From what I've gathered as a bloke:

If he's handsome it's cute
If he's not it's creepy

hoobygalooby · 19/05/2015 17:18

It could be said that you stalking his old tweets and social media could be a red flag for him!!!

Original poster
Ellexx · 19/05/2015 17:33

Hooby- haha I was awaiting for someone to come out with that! If seeing if someone has Twitter and noticing a few tweets is stalking (baring in mind it was an old account, so tweets were old) then I will happily take that title!!! Isn't that what social media is for anyway?

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 19/05/2015 19:16

He sounds like a potential stalker to me. I think you should dump him.

Fugghetaboutit · 19/05/2015 19:57

avant Grin

PeppermintCrayon · 20/05/2015 08:23

What is your gut saying? Do you really like him, or do you really like the original idea you had of him that turned out not to be the reality?

CaTsMaMmA · 20/05/2015 08:30

sounds like he is in love with being in love and wants the world to know how fabulous/happy/wonderful you both are

if he is not manipulating you into changing plans, cross examining you as to your whereabouts then I'd mark it down as youthful nonsense. And then it depends how long you want to put up with it.

Swingball · 20/05/2015 08:40

My first thought was the dates/numbers being important in China but I don't know enough about it either.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 20/05/2015 10:30

It sounds like this is how he does relationships and personally I would hate it, but it's up to you whether you like it or not.
There is never any obligation to 'progress' a relationship and it's not leading him on as long as you are open about it. However if you ever start feeling pressured to get more serious than you want to that's a good sign that it's time to break up.

vodkanchocolate · 20/05/2015 10:42

You say hes ocd? I think the dates are probilly something to do with that, could there be an underlying issue?

I wouldnt at all be worried about the pictures as screen savers etc I remember putting a picture of me and now husband on msn profile picture the same week I got with him. Same with morning txts I used to love waking upto them

ravenmum · 20/05/2015 10:43

My new boyfriend is very keen - without the OCD, but lots of texting. I might even find it a bit creepy if I wasn't rather keen myself ... maybe that's your problem?

Lweji · 20/05/2015 10:59

Half way through I wondered if he had OCD. And it seems he has.

I don't think it's sweet, but not yet red flags. It's been 15 dates, so not 150 or anything.

The photos would be full on if you were not "in a relationship" by then. Were you?

shovetheholly · 20/05/2015 11:03

I think he's probably someone who feels comfortable recording things (perhaps a symptom of OCD). I also think it's sweet, and I would be touched and not creeped out at all. It's not like he's suggesting you move in together immediately or rushing you into having babies together tomorrow - he's just eager to keep seeing you.

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