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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

how to get over bitterness and resentment

1 reply

gottohaveadream · 17/05/2015 23:04

Hi everyone, first time poster.
My husband basically left me about 3 months ago and is now living with his much younger girlfriend. I feel so much hurt and anger at him and want to know how to get over it as I know it's not helpful.
The relationship between me and him was wrong and i'm relieved for my own sake that it's over, however, i can't quite over how he's behaved since and i suspect, what he did before he said he wanted to separate. People had said before we split up that they suspected something was going on and I had my own suspicions but found out about their relationship quite by chance. He even admitted they slept together about 3 weeks after he left the marital home.( she was still living with her boyfriend!) I don't think the Maths adds up and suspect something was definitely going on before he left, if not physical, definitely mental.
My question is, why, if I don't want him, do I really care about these things and how do I move on. I've had a great life since he left, gone out loads with friends, even had a couple of dates myself but feel so much bitterness and resentment? I feel sad for my children and sad for what we used to have and the future I thought was going to be. What do I need to heal myself and move on (like he seems to have done so quickly!)
thanks for reading

OP posts:
Momagain1 · 18/05/2015 23:04

time, and tide, and maybe another relationship are what carried me past this. Mostly. Its been 26 years, 24 happily with my 2nd dh and there are still moments of why and what if. Time has proven him to be even more of an arse than I knew. But still, once in a while I have a tiny wish that plan A had worked out and our dc didnt have to go through all that.

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