Advice - Paternity test/CSA

[cris]

Hi all.
Don't post on here often as i have 3rugrats & pregnant with next due in 5wks, so don't get much of a chance but here goes.
Hubby was with someone 8yrs. She fell pregnant after 8wks but the relationship went sour & she told him the child wasn't his & he eventually walked out when the baby was 4mths & she gave him proof of her affair. We got together 4mths after that.
Anyway 2 months ago we were shopping with our kids & she started ranting & raving that he should be ashamed he's got a 7yr old daughter he does care about, yet he's now got kids! Anyway the CSA quickly got in touch & demanded a paternity test. Me & hubby agreed to pay for it (as if she is he's we'd have to pay the ?200 back plus maintenance). Hubby had his test on monday, but was sent a letter today saying they're waiting for the mum & daughters samples, then results take 2wks.

Can anyone shed some light on what happens next?
If he does pay maintenance will it be from the date the DNA test comes back positive & he's proved to be the father?
How do we go about custody if she is his & how long will that take, are we likely to have rights to have her stay with us?
If he's not the dad what happens then?

Any help would be greatly appreciated as this has been a complete bolt out the blue after 7yrs believing she wasn't his.
Thanks.

custody! are you joking, if the girl is his then surely you should be thinking about taking things gradually for the poor girls sake

Sorry - I meant rights to see her on the weekend. Hubby's peeved enoough that he hasn't seen her for 7yrs & she might be his daughter. Plus she's got 3brothers & a sister that she doesn't even know about.
We want her to be part of our family too, as we've already missed out with so much time with her.

oh ok but i honestly wouldnt think about that until you have the paternity results.i mean is her mother just going to tell her outright that she suddenly has a dad? would be a bit of a shock to a 7year old, although my eldest didnt meet his dad till he was8 and he was thrilled, even though his dad dropped him a few months later.now have a 12year old who on the face of it says he hates him, but i know deep down he doesnt mean it

i dont know, but i wouldnt have thought csa could ask for backpay for a child he didnt know was his. anyway csa are crap, they probably wont take a penny of him

Thats true, he'd be better giving money directly to the mother if the child is his, but doing it through a standing order so there is some kind of receipt.
Even though you pay maintenance, it doesn't give any rights about access. You would be better negotiating with the mother about access also rather than seeing a solicitor if you can. Would save a lot of future problems!

I don't think his ex would be civil enough for us to talk to her. The fact that she went mental in the middle of asda's told me that.
Hoping that the child doesn't think he's a git - but what was he supposed to do? He'll want a part in her life after all this time & we know it won't be easy - but life with kids isn't. Hoping that she'll forgive him once she knows the full story.
If she's not his it'll eat at hubby - he was angry at first for her having a go & the fact he was shut out the kids life & is now demanding money, but he just wants the kid to know that it wasn't his fault & will stand up for his rights to see her if she is his.
Thanks for the comments.

why didnt he get a paternity test when the woman first told him the baby wasnt his?

Does she look like him?

He will have to pay about 15% of his net income for one child I think may be with something taken off that as he has 3 or 4 more children with you.

Are you sure he's told you the truth? He may have always known she was his but tried to avoid his obligations.

Reading the original post, it sounds like he wasn't bothered whether or not the baby was his.
'She gave him proof of her affair', so what, I presume he was still shagging her, so there was a 50% chance the child was his ?!

Hubby was so destraught at the possibility that the child wasn't his that he severed contact with her for a few months, then we found out she only lived 15mins from us, but she ahad a court injuction forbidding him from contacting her. I think she's bitter that he's moved on with his life & wants to shake the boat. I secretly think she wants cash & no contact, so she's going to be in for a shock as hubby's angry that he's potentially missed out on 7yrs - he wants his daughter to be part of our family, if that's the case.
Of course there's a chance that the kid's his, but he was so upset that his first real love was playing around behind his back & her family were gloating at him that he had to leave. It really ate him up for a long time.
Just waiting to hear that the DNA centre has the mother & daughters sample, then it's a waiting game for 2wks.
Will keep you posted.

If the child is his it is open to him to apply to the court for permisson to make a contact application. Any contact granted is bound to be very gradual, say beginning with postcards, letters maybe and at a pace with which the child is happy. I would approach it more from the point of view of the child; it is her right to know her father and her half siblings rather than the fathe's right to see her. the court would review the situation say every three-six months. hope this helps - bit brief as lots going on here

the injunction is interesting - they're not given lightly - how did she manage to get one of those? What were her grounds?

I'm sorry, I always do this - skim read, butt in then reread the whole thread!

I don't think your DH is in any position to be angry - it's his fault he missed out on 7 years of her life. He must have known she could have been his when he left but put his own feelings first - maybe his anger is misplaced. I can understand him being distraught initially but that doesn't excuse chosing not to see the child who could be his dd for seven years.
If he is the dad there is every chance that a court will grant him indirect contact leading to direct contact but he really should do a bit less of the "angry" and not bang on to much about his rights if he is to get any sympathy. I feel angry for the child who's dad left her because he was angry with her mum.