Sex and my right to say no

[FFSletmechangemyname]

This morning DH woke up and it was clear he wanted to have sex, I said no, I have a hip injury at the moment and it hurts for a start and I'm just not in the mood.
He then tried to persuade me and I again I said no several times at which point he then what I can only describe as 'sulked' saying I never let him near me and went to work. He refused to kiss me before he left.

There is a pattern here and I really don't know how to tackle it, in the past I can admit to 'giving in' for an easy life even when I'm not in the mood and quite frankly I hate myself for that.

The older I'm getting the less tolerant to it I'm becoming but I'm not sure how to express it in words without getting angry or very upset.

I do enjoy dtd but I was abused when I was young and despite feeling like I have dealt with that, this morning I have had a light bulb moment and realised I have 'flash backs' a lot that I ignore when dtd which probably don't help.

What I really need help with is DH, how do I make him understand that saying no isn't about him it's about me and how I'm feeling.
Just for context we dtd the night before last.

Thank you all for your kind words.

I am struggling a lot today emotionally, I feel so alone and it is good to hear, even if only on a screen that I am right and I should be able to say no without being 'punished' for it. He is at work at the moment but I am dreading him coming home as there will be an atmosphere all day.

It's not helped by the fact I am in a lot of pain today and struggling to walk. I have so much to do though so no chance of a rest with 2 DC under 5 and ironing cleaning etc to do.

Life it seems is just too much at the moment and I feel right on the edge of sanity. This hasn't helped as I've been having lots of flashbacks today, memories I thought I had put to rest are back and that doesn't feel good.

What are you going to do when he gets home?

You have every right to say no.

No one is entitled to sex with anyone, ever.

I hope you're ok OP,

I have been in your place and it is an awful way to live. In my case the sulking and my 'giving in' progressed to him not even asking and just doing what he wanted when he wanted whatever I felt about it.

I got out three years ago and although it's been hard at times I can say that it was the right thing to do for me and the kids.

If you can stand up to him now, make him really see the error if his ways and he will get his own help because he wants to change then there is a chance of a good future for you but if you don't feel you have the right to tell him how you feel or if he won't do something properly about it then please consider that happiness is available to you if you want it, it just won't include him.

Hi OP, I totally understand as my DP has done this before. I didn't LTB, but eventually I lost my temper and the day after one such incident pointed out to him that he was trying to get me to have sex, when I didn't want to. I. E. If we then had sex, wasn't it therefore rape? That shocked him and stopped it. I have to be honest though when the thigh stroking starts and I'm not interested I try and go to sleep. As a survivor or whatever you call it of abuse I have always been default setting "do what they want" and at the age of 40 I am only just realising that you can say no. Xxx

I hope all is okay if he's come home xxx

OP, he promised to love and cherish you.

Do you think he's doing either?