Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Support my family help?

2 replies

Lolamon · 14/05/2015 17:06

Grew up with a ea and narcisstic mother. Resulted in me having mh problems and a 7 year battle with self harm. Left home for good at 17. Frankly it was horrific and I'm still coming to terms with it all.

My mother had an affair last year and my step dad left and is trying to rebuild his life (my mum told lies about this only just found out the truth) but he's shell shocked and deeply hurt by her again lots of ea.

My sister is still living with mother. Mother is being ea to her now. It's like my childhood all over again. Dad is desperately trying to get accommodation sorted for them both as he had to leave sharpish.

I live quite far away now and I was wondering how best to support my family. So far I've arranged them to visit at the nearest opportunity and got snap chat so my sister can talk safely without any evidence of convos (yeah it's that risky for her to talk truthfully)

So how can I help them more? I really want to provide my sister especially with the support I didn't have. I don't wAnt her to have the terrible time I did.

OP posts:
Lolamon · 14/05/2015 17:10

Sorry if this is in the wrong place!

OP posts:
sadwidow28 · 14/05/2015 17:49

Don't do it! You are trying to fix everyone before you feel fixed yourself.

Find external support systems for your sister - GP/Counselling; local support groups etc.

Set a limitation on what you feel able to give without compromising your own mental health and physical well-being. Snappchat will do (I assume that's like Skype).

Fix times for when you will be able to chat - not every day and at any time your sister/mother wants to 'pop up'.

What your step-dad is doing is actually nothing to do with you. That is his own decision. He may be better able to offer more support. Don't measure yourself against him.

HTH

New posts on this thread. Refresh page