I'm on here cos my friend has asked my oppinion and although I've told him what I think, I feel a wider audience might give better answers/more constructive advice than I have.
I don't want to drip feed so it's all here: I have a friend, let's call him Bruce. We met 3 years ago on an online dating site and dated for about 3 months but quickly realised that we were more suited to friendship than a romantic relationship. We get on really well and text each other every so often and occasionally will go for meals to catch up or to the cinema if it's a film that we're both interested in that no one else we know wants to go see (iyswim). There is no "feelings" between us, I have a boyfriend who I love dearly who respects my friendship and knows there is nothing untoward. Bruce and I equally pay our way when we go out so its all fair and square. So now you have the back ground.
So Bruce has been not as lucky in love as I have since we decided to remain friends. He's done a great deal of dating and a few months ago found a girl (let's call her Ivy) who he thought he might have a future with. I have never met Ivy and can't really comment on her personally, all I have is info given from Bruce. I know she is in the last year of Uni (Bruce and I are both very early 30's) and lives about 50 miles from Bruce. Bruce is happy to travel to meet her each weekend and has been doing so for a number of weeks. I don't know whether Ivy works but Bruce does have a good job although not one that means he can afford 5* living. He's not well off but happy and comfortable with his income.
A couple of weeks ago and very early into the relationship Ivy announced that she loved Bruce. Bruce is a sensitive but not overly demonstrative guy but is now in the same place as Ivy, although it took some time for him to be sure of his feelings as those three words are quite strong ones to him.
So here is the issue. Things are going great between them but she has a history similar to the one I have with Bruce. She met a guy named Harvey but soon realised that there was no spark. However Harvey doesn't seem to have been notified. The issue is that Harvey is loaded and regularly buys Ivy gifts and makes daily declarations of love to her. Ivy has admitted she takes advantage of the fact that Harvey is in love with her and let's him buy her all sorts of gifts.
Ivy's always reminding Bruce that he is poor and that Harvey would buy her anything she wanted (albeit in a joking way) but she says it a lot. She also told Harvey this weekend that she's going on holiday to Spain with Harvey and he's paying for the 2 of them to go camping in the same tent. Ivy told Bruce that although Harvey is always making a pass at her she always refuses him.
To top it all off, Bruce didn't go up this weekend because it's Ivy's final week in uni. She did say that Bruce was welcome but he insisted that she needed her space to ensure she was able to complete her work. However when Bruce spoke to Ivy this weekend it turned out she was spending her time with Harvey and that once again Harvey took her shopping to buy lots of clothing and other items.
Bruce has told Ivy that although he isn't comfortable with the Spain holiday, it's her life and she must choose what she does.
Bruce has asked my oppinion and my advice was that she was acting very immaturely and wasn't being fair on either of them - Ivy is using both the guys to get everything she wants and doesn't understand what she is doing wrong. She's also making him feel bad for things he can't change (money) and if you honestly love someone you wouldn't do that. I pointed out to Bruce that my friendship with him has a very similar story to Ivy and Harvey's but we're not stringing each along for kicks, we actually like to be friends.
Do any of you guys have any further insight to this?
Ps sorry for the Batman names. I was under orders -by Bruce Wayne-