How long did it take to love your partner?

[TokenGinger]

Just that, really...

How many weeks, months, years? What's "normal"?

I think I have only ever been truly in love once and it took about six months (him sooner.)

No such thing as normal but if you're not feeling it, don't be afraid to call it a day. For me, I said it after 4 months but my feelings now (5 years later) have grown much deeper. He's my absolute best friend and would do anything for me. That's not to say were joined at the hip. As I got to know more about him; including his family and friends the attraction grew stronger. It's not a mad passionate relationship but I think I have mistaken that in the past for love. In my twenties, I probably would have passed over my partner for someone more exciting.

Is there a reason why you're asking?

I've been dating a guy for just short of five months now. And I'm at a point where I feel like I love him. When I've mentioned this, he said playfully that I'm weird, but then seriously said that he doesn't think it's possible to love somebody after such a short time.

He said he loves spending time with me and cares for me deeply and he believes I'm the one he'll start something serious with, but that it's not love yet. I get that. I am not upset that he doesn't love me yet - he makes me very happy and so I have no need to question him.

I guess I just am questioning myself now about loving him "too soon".

I don't think 5 months is unusual. Although I suppose it depends how much time you've spent together. If you've only seen each other once a fortnight then that might be different :)

He sounds quite cautious, which is not always a bad thing.

From the start, we've seen each other probably 3-4 times a week. Although the past month since I got off holiday, we've seen each other every night except maybe 4 nights. We go about our own business - gym classes, visiting friends/family then tend to meet up later in the evening.

I guess it is just cautiousness and I should be thankful that we are lucky enough to live close enough to spend nice times together and just not rush it x

I think it as much quicker than that for us.

When you find a keeper ...you tend to keep them ;-)

Hope it continues to grow.

Keepers are my favourite Except when they think tickling to death is acceptable.

Thank you

As well as taking a shorter or longer time to feel "in love", people also have different opinions on what "in love" means.

It's not an easy concept to explain.

He might very well love you as much as you love him, but not consider that a big enough thing to use the word "love" just yet. He might reserve the word "love" for something more extreme.

I would say I started feeling it after about three months but we said it after five.

I hope he feels the same way soon.

Much less time than that. Probably a couple of weeks!

Didn't say it that quickly though...

Ginger, he sounds like a nice guy. Enjoy each other's company and wait and see what happens.

Thank you x

About 3 weeks. I fell hook line and sinker. 7 years on, I don't like him every day but I love him more and more.

First time I met him I knew I wanted him in my life in some way.

By the 4th date I loved him. Love has many different levels imo. After all these years together my love for him is of course much deeper. We said it after a couple of weeks as well. People told me it was just chemistry then and perhaps it was but it is my definition that counts :)

It sounds like you are having a lovely time OP. Enjoy every minute of it :) As Trills said he might not use the word love but doesn't mean his feelings aren't as strong as yours are.

Not sure but definitely within 6 weeks as that was the first time we discussed marriage - in a lighthearted way! That was 11 years and 2 kids ago.

I'm not sure what will change that will make him feel that he loves you if he doesn't now but lots of others think it perfectly normal so don't worry.

He may well love you but is frightened to use those three little words though fear of commitment.

It might be a good idea to stop saying it for a while as he might feel you are putting him under pressure.

Just enjoy what you have for now and see what happens.

I'm enjoyin reading your feedback, thank you :)

ALaughAMinute - you are completely right. I haven't said it again since then. When he tells me he really cares about me, I tell him back that I care for him deeply, too x

We said it after 3 months - it was around then that I was to feel it.

But we went on a weekend away when we were 7 months together, and I remember we said goodbye on the tube after the weekend as we went our separate ways home, and I was gutted - I was seeing him in a week but I felt bereft. Welling up on the way home. Made no sense. Then I knew.

Scribble - that sounds somewhat familiar, and I think that's how I know.

I went away last weekend for a hen do and the thought of going just made me feel uneasy. Then on the first night as I was lying in bed alone, I just felt so lost without him there. And as soon as I told myself it's because I love him, I felt settled.

16 months. We were on the verge of splitting up after 9 months because although we enjoyed each other's company, we both acknowledged we weren't 'in love'. We decided we'd give it a bit longer. A month later, I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant .

I was 7 months pregnant when I realised I loved him. He told me for the first time when DD was 2 months old. Ten years down the line, we have 2 DDs and about to celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary.

Are you happy that the relationship is going the way you want it to? Does he feel the same way? That's all that counts .

I knew, the minute I saw him. I told him that night. He was a bit spooked. He was a bit longer, having just come out of a 2 year relationship. It took him 3 months.

We have now been together 29 years.

MsVestibule - that's an incredible story! How lovely.

I am happy with how things are. He's good with me and makes me feel content. I guess that's the most important thing.

ModreB - That sounds like a fairytale :) xx