Hey everyone just need your advice. I know this place is largely for Mums and not Dads but I need you help and my male friends have not been very helpful. I need a female perspective.
We've been together for several months right now and everything was going great until she started her new job. Date nights were curtailed and then family/friend commitments got in the way as her time dwindled.
Then three weeks ago my girlfriend sent me this long text...
Hi. been on a course today, not had any free time. I'm really sorry, i wanted to talk to you face to face but I can't see you for another week and it's not fair on you to not let you know what I'm thinking. I haven't been feeling like my heart is fully us recently. With me being so busy because of my job I don't have the time to see you and it's not fair on either of us. Our relationship is based on text messages at the minute, its not natural. Things just get misconstrued. I get that this is my fault cause of my schedule but there's nothing I can do about that.You know what I think about saying things like this over text but I can't carry on pretending like everything's okay. I've been trying to sort myself out for the past few weeks and it's causing me too much stress trying to please everyone. I'm really sorry but I just don't know what else to do.
I knew there was something wrong and told her that. I also said I'd like to fight for our relationship. However, she told me she doesn't have time for a relationship and she's not happy being in a relationship where she cant see me. I worked out we'd get one day together in a month due to her new job and my commitments.
I offered her an out though asking if it wasn't for time would she still want to be in a relationship. Her answer..."I wouldn't have been in one in the first place if I didn't want to be- I'm not happy in the current situation"
I must admit it was confusing so we text some more and she said... "It's nothing to do with us as people and it's nothing you've done or said, nothing's broken it's just I don't have time. Something's changed and it's not the same as it was. My job isn't just a job at work, it's at home for the next six months,I can't make it work for me and I'm not happy. I'm not happy because I'm trying to please everyone, when I'm busy you get annoyed and I can't deal with that on topof everything else. Right now I want space, I need time to myself to think about what I want.
I ended by saying take the time an space you need and she agreed to meet up in person to talk about it, I also asked her not to make a rash decision to which she said "This isn't rash I've been thinking this for two weeks. It's just how I feel right now"
I waited 10 days then waited outside her work to talk to her (I know this was a mistake but I was not in a good place) and then sent her a message the other day asking how she was and if we could meet up to talk about us, and if it was over if we could end on good terms rather than a text. I've heard no reply.
I'm just confused as a month before that text she told me she'd never looked at another guy with me and that she'd never done that before. What I fear is that I scared her when I was drunk on a weekend away together and told her I loved her about 2 weeks before she sent that message. I'm also worried because of her past relationships, one ex cheated on her and one broke up with her to get with someone else and the came crawling back - she admitted she often puts her defences up with guys and it took me two months to get those reasons she wanted to wait to have sex, I didn't mind as I am smitten with her.
I just don't know what to do. Should I wait a few more weeks before getting back in contact or should I just say it's over even though I adore her to bits and her friends and family before that happened said she'd never been so happy?
Is she just scared to tell me it's over, does she know what she wants or is she scared of commitment...I'm just lost. I love her and would love to get back together but fear that ship has sailed.
Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me.