How to remain true to yourself?

[targaryen]

I'm a real people pleaser and always seem to have a real need to get on with everyone and be liked.
I feel I'm 37, a wife and mother and need to learn how to be assertive. I think I mistake assertiveness for rudeness and in always trying to so the right thing and be polite I let people see me as a pushover and easy target.

Just looking for some advice on how to be true to myself and how to be more assertive without being rude?

I'm the same as you. Rather than looking at being assertive, I look at if others are putting as much effort into pleasing me as I do them.

If there's a big disparity, I take my cues from them and cut back.

Thanks Joysmum, that's a really useful way to look at relationships. I end up trying harder and trying to find common ground and try to act how I think the person wants me to be.