I don't love DP anymore

[skypilot]

How long have you been with him? How long have you been feeling like this? Would relate help do you think?

Together for 17 years I felt like this for about 3 years. I don't know what to do about it, and thought physically writing it would help

Do you think relate would help, or, do you think it has gone past that? Is he aware of how you feel?

I think he feels the same about me, we have just become a habit.
Neither of us would go to relate we are quite private, though saying that I don't think there is anything to save in our relationship the problem is after this long together how we continue, I think this is it for the future. I have never believed in staying together for the childrens sake however neither of us are prepared to leave them, we do not argue we live together like flatmates and are basically appathetic to each other but not the kids

Do you think you culd fall in love with him again given the right circumsatnces?does he still love you?

Now I've got tears in my eyes thinking about loving him, I do still have feelings but more like a brother. I don't respect him (I don't mean as in a 1930's respect your man kind of way) I doubt he loves me and even if he does I don't really care

Think back to when it was last good?Also why are you feeling tearful if you don't care?I think you do but are so caught up in what you feel like today you can't see a way out.Are you thinking of leaving him or are you happy to live with out a relationship?

I couldn't leave him as I couldn't take his kids from him it would be unfair, and likewise I couldn't leave them or accept him taking them. I am not happy in this relationship but I cannot see a way out. I used to get quite jelous now I hope someone would come and make him happy and me at the same time.
I am feeling tearful because it seems disloyal writing this about him / us I had hoped that by 'speaking the words' it would help me formulate what to do but I guess it's carry on as normal

im sorry youre feeling like this. i often feel like flatmates with my DH, but im hoping its the stress etc of daily life with 2 under 3's.

sorry you feel you cant talk to anyone, maybe try a book instead.....??

cx

I honestly can't rember when it was last good. I know we need to talk about it but as both of us will not live apart from the kids there isn't alot of hope
I have always stayed away from these threads (relationship) before but it is good to speak how I feel anominously
I have name changed just incase I have been outted on my other name

hertsnessex if you feel like flatmates with your DP do something about it sooner than later if you love him. Go out for a meal, concert or something if possible, otherwise you'll look round one day and realise how far you have grown apart and how little you have in common anymore

skypilot my dh always says if we were ever to split up he's want to live next door or find a flat just around the corner so he could be with the kids every day. Is this an option for you and your dh? I know a few people who do this. My BIL moved just around the corner when he and SIL split up and he was always fully involved with their son.

Otherwise, it sounds like you like him even if the spark has gone. If there's enough affection there perhaps it's not so bad staying together like flatmates. Perhaps you could even take other partners if you both agreed to this and it was out in the open.

I'm sorry you're in this situation though. You must feel quite trapped.

skypilot, we are def working on it.

thanks, and good luck.

cx

It would be great if he could live next door or if we had a large house and could devide it in half but unfortunatly that is not possible. I do feel trapped and unable to plan my future, it saddens me to think this is how it will be for the foreseable time or until the kids leave home. I hadn't really thought about another partner but I think it would be difficult / impossible if we continue to live together. We share the same bed which has seen no action for at least 3 years

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